What do you do when…

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What do you do when you are 23 years old, you live with your parents, and you don’t have the money (but are working to get it) to move out, and your father makes you feel like a horrible daughter? It’s not that he’s a horrible father, he’s not. He just doesn’t word things very well I guess. I’ve tried talking to him and letting him know how I feel many times, but it never seems to get through to him. We’ve even been to therapy before, because it got to bad I started to hurt myself (though there were a lot of other factors to that too). He’s just always very negative with me, like I can never satisfy him with anything that I do. I could be very talented at something and he will always find a flaw with it. No matter what I do it’s never good enough. I don’t drive right, or I don’t do something exactly the way he thinks it should be done, I don’t agree with his opinion, or he thinks that the line that I drew was too sketchy and not straight enough. Of course in his head he can do no wrong, so all of this is in my head and I’m crazy for feeling the way I do. I’m always wrong in his world, even if I can prove that I’m right, I’m wrong. I don’t know what to do anymore…

Category: Tags: asked December 16, 2014

2 Answers

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Every time your father tells you you're not doing something right he's telling you that he loves you. Unfortunately he doesn't have a better way to express it. He wants what is right and best for you. And for him to be able to express that he's doing it by telling you where you've made a mistake so that you can learn from it and have better. He hasn't come to the realization, and at this point he probably won't, that the way you do things aren't wrong... they're just different. They establish the same end goal... he just doesn't know how to accept it. But, he still wants the best thing for you. Cherish what you have with him even if it's hard this could be worse.
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Sometimes fathers tend not to show affectionate because of maybe their past. If you know the root to why he's that way then you shouldn't take it harshly. Like the comment ontop of my says your father is showing you that he loves you. (tough love) my dad is the same way, I could have a B in the class but he wants me to aim to an A. Your father can also see potential in you because you probably are talented. Cherish your father and please no more harming, you have a long life ahead of you. Life is full of surprises my dear !