Long story short, I’ve been in a relationship with a guy for about six months now, and it is going great. The thing is, he lives on the other side of the country, and every time we make plans to see each other, something always comes up.
Lately, I’ve been feeling like maybe I should just let him go. I really do love him, and I know he loves me, but with everything just going on, I don’t want to burden him. But every time I think about ending the relationship, my heart just sinks. Not only is he my boyfriend, but he is also my bestfriend, I can tell him anything. He understands when I need to just talk, and he’ll listen, but then he understands when I need to laugh. He even lets me cry over the phone to him about the stupidest things.
I feel like I don’t deserve him. I struggle with really bad panic attacks, and I’m trying to work on them, but I don’t want to put him through anything. He tells me time after time that he doesn’t mind, but I always feel terrible. I know I shouldn’t be doubting him or his intentions, but I just care for him so much that I don’t want to force him to do anything. I always get scared that he’ll get sick of having to help me through a panic attack.
I’ve talked to him about this, and he always says that it will never happen, he loves me, and he will always be there for me.
I don’t know what to do. I just love him so much but sometimes it just hurts knowing that I care for him, and that maybe I’m just not stable enough to keep him happy.