What do I do now?

Me and my current boyfriend of a year, well we had a huge falling out. The day of that, he texted his kids mom and she sent a picture of herself. Not naked or anything, in her halloween costume..and it really bothered me. Like, we had a big argument, I understand. But right when that happens you’re going to run right back to her? We argued about it. Lately he’s been saying he’s tired of the way that I act, that I don’t trust him, and I always question him. Like HELLO, of course I’m this way, he made me this way cause it wasn’t the first time he’s lied to me. I kept telling him to say to me that he didn’t want to be with me anymore, but he refuses to say it. But things are different now. He’s a douche bag, and he always has something smart to say. He doesn’t show me love and affection anymore and he always flips out on me for little shit. No matter what it may be, he’s always snapping at me. And he keeps telling me that I need to change. and I say that I’m going to but never do. But I’m not the only one that needs to change, and he makes it seem like I’m such a bad person. I’m wrong for having trust issues and all that. And I’ll be honest, I don’t trust him at all. Or her. I feel like he’s hiding shit from me now, but I don’t wanna be that crazy girlfriend all in his phone and stuff. I don’t know what to do, this relationship is tearing me apart. I just want it to be how it used to be. Just wanna feel loved again :’(

Category: Dating & Relationships Tags: #hurt #sad #whatever asked November 20, 2013

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Cherry

4 Answers

A relationship can't exist without trust, plain and simple. The only way I see him being right about you being in the wrong is if you keep dredging up things from the past. But he's been giving you new reasons not to trust him, so I don't think you are in the wrong and he's wrong to tell you that you are. He's hurt you, you're calling him out on it, and he's pushing the blame on you. That's a toxic relationship if I've ever seen one... Trust your gut. You loved him, maybe still do, but can you honestly take it anymore?

Can you forgive and forget, ask him to do the same, and start over with a clean slate? Or do you need to remove yourself from the situation? That is something you need to talk to him about; I went through something similar after the first year of my relationship with my soon-to-be husband. We sat down and laid it all out, staying calm the whole time, and agreed to bury all of the past issues then and there and not bring it up again. After about two weeks, it felt like it did when we were first dating all over again. Our relationship is stronger and healthier than ever now, nearly three years later. It can be done if both parties are willing.

If he's not, you need to accept it and bow out with your head held high - you at least tried to save your relationship and he wasn't willing to put in the effort to meet you half way.

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JoJo

1,147

Straight up; if you two try your best to talk things out and you ALWAYS end up fighting, then that relationship is over. You can try over and over but if for some mysterious reasons your relationship turns into one of you waiting for the other to get on your nerves about something, that relationship is pretty much over. That's usually when one of you has had a change of heart or somebody has lost apart of themselves that helped them relate and love the other person.

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(◣_◢)Poet

1,424

If this guy is telling you that you need to change, without taking responsibility for things he's done wrong, things he's done that have caused you to distrust him, then it sounds like he doesn't really love you. If someone is telling you they love you, then they should accept you for exactly who you are. You have a reason to be suspicious, and it is unusual for his ex to be sending him pictures of herself. He's being dismissive of your feelings. If you feel like hanging around to try and explain all of this to him, or show him how to treat you that is going to take a LOT of work and honestly you might be disappointed. If he can't accept responsibility for the things he's done wrong, he's never going to see a problem with the way he's treating you. My advice would be to leave him. He clearly has resentments towards you and he's acting like a little baby about it, instead of sitting down with you to discuss how you're both feeling and coming up with some way to fix the situation.

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1,447

I think hes being shady and immature and you shouldnt have to put up with it. Hes not taking accountability for his own shady actions and thats not right. You do deserve to be loved and respected and he doesnt really seem like hes respecting your feelings right now. Everyone is amazing in the beginning of the relationship but people will show you their true colors after a while. You even said hes acting like a douche and I would agree with you. It all boils down to if you want to stay with someone who acts like that or not.

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KellyMichelle:)

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