what do i do about my over whelming mother in law?

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My future mother in law is becoming over whelming. Shes discreetly bullying me in front of my fiance and belittling me in front of others, my partner says im over reacting although he sees i get upset by this, she snatches my child off me who is a few months old and constantly eyeballs me if im holding my own child, she constantly pushes my buttons by doing unbelievable things.. for example the last few weeks she has handed him a knife and carrier bags to play with! Which i obviously asked her what on earth is she doing and took them off my son, but my partner did see no fault in this?! Her new favorite thing is to push him over now hes sitting by himself so he`ll cry so she can pick him up! If its not that shes frightening him so he`ll cry so she can pick him up.. Shes constantly nagging my partner for reasons unknown but its getting at him now, and he wont tell my why shes constantly phoning/texting. Its now putting a huge strain on our relationship as he always takes her side regardless of what i say to him as she apparently does no wrong..i honestly dont know what to do.. im burning at both ends and im exhausted i cant keep putting myself through the daily stress of her constant badgering, bullying, meddling and horrific stupidness!

Please help!

Category: Tags: asked July 4, 2014

5 Answers

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You definitely need to reconsider how much time you spend with this mother in law of yours, as beccajoy said you dont exactly have to spend so much time with her if you don't want to? It's you,your fiancé and your baby's life.Not hers. About your fiancé,I think he's taking her side because he knows something you dont,you need to have a proper sit down,without any shouting and just talk it out,is it safe to leave your child with this woman? Is she a good influence? And lastly you need to confront this lady and tell her loudly and clearly that she CANNOT do this ,its sick and possibly dangerous. Hope all goes well,Good luck:)
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I'm wondering if your MIL-to-be has a mental illness. The things you're describing are not things that balanced people do... I would keep your baby away from her because she doesn't sound stable and it seems as though she could cause harm. As far as your fiance, I know it's difficult, but you should talk to him and see if she's ever been diagnosed with anything. Just approach it as, "I want your mother to be a part of our child's life, but she's displaying dangerous behavior and we need to help her. She can get better if we get help and then she can enjoy her grandchild." Best wishes, Mama. Hugs :)
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My situation is different, but I don't enjoy spending long periods with my MIL. My way of avoiding too much contact is to send hubby with child for a visit, and stay behind to get some housework done. Mind you, that works for me. But in your case, your MIL seems to be slightly abusive to your child, which is insane. You really need to have a good talk with your fiance, and he needs to put his foot down on the matter. And if he doesn't, then you should never be afraid to tell ANYONE that you are not happy with the way they are treating your child. If this drives the wedge further between you two, then so be it. You can always stay home and catch up on house work (or a nap). :) Good Luck
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I have a MIL; who is very much the same as yours. I call her Woman Hitler - because when you rearrange the letters in motHer in laW that's what you get.

I tried every trick in the book. So, eventually I just turned it into a game. How many times can she insult me in an hour. If it gets too high to count we do every 15 minutes and average out 15 minutes to get a few hours. I keep score week to week.

I know it's not the most productive way to deal with a situation. But, sometimes; you've got to do what works.
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Just....wow.
I think your first course of action is to most definitely keep your child safe at all costs. What she's doing is most definitely dangerous, and your child's safety is your first priority.
That being said, you need to have a serious talk with your partner and see what's up. You need someone who is going to stand by your side and put both you and your child before his mother/family, not someone who is going to just do whatever his parents want - or be conveniently blind to their dangerous actions. At the risk of sounding alarmist, if he can't put the two of you ahead of his mother, then I would seriously think about your relationship and where it truly lies.
Best of luck!