Hi. I’m a lesbian, and currently (for the second time), I am finding myself developing major feelings for a girl that I already know is straight and has a boyfriend. And it’s worse than the first time, because unlike the previous girl I crushed on, this girl and I actually spend a decent amount of time together everyday during our P.E. class. We talk a lot, she’s really nice to me, and she always helps me to forget about any problems that I happen to be thinking about at the moment. We love making each other laugh and just laughing at ourselves, and though we haven’t had very deep conversations yet, we’ve enjoyed getting to know each other and will probably continue to develop what most normal people would consider to be a friendship. I’m also feeling an immense physical attraction to her. When we do exercises in class that involve getting in very close proximity to each other (we even touched butts several times), I felt very turned on by it, but at the same time very awkward since she probably doesn’t feel anything. Anyway, the point is, she’s straight and has a boyfriend, and I don’t know how to stop these feelings from further developing so I won’t end up with a broken heart in the future. I’m also very scared, that at some point, I’ll end up overtly flirting with her without realizing it, and she’ll be weirded out by it or something… I need advice!
You can't help who you get attracted to. It can be difficult to deal with if she's straight. Try to keep a little bit of distance at times and simply be her friend. Make sure not to cross any boundaries. If you'd like to talk more about this, feel free to message me.
This happens to everyone. It's nothing to be particularly concerned about but you do need accept that your feelings and attraction for this person are not mutual. She's your friend and friends are a very important part of our development. Accepting her as just a friend is the best thing you can do to preserve the friendship.
Goddammit, she did it to me again. She managed to make me completely forget about my problems and see the beauty in life, at least for the small amount of time we spent together. We took a walk around the school campus together today. I really wanted to hold her hand, but I had to restrain myself. She seemed really happy when I told her that she was beautiful, though (it came up in conversation, I didn’t just randomly tell her). She told me that I was pretty in return, a few minutes later. I don't know if she was just saying that to be nice, or if she meant it, but it made me really happy.
It's ok to feel an attraction for a girl, even if she is straight. Just let her know and tell her casually"Hey, I know you have a boyfriend and everything, but I honestly like you and I will not step over the friendship line unless you say we can happen." And if you truly love her, you will have enough self control to wait.
Put on your shoes and RUNNNNNN! I swear straight girls are the worst, even if she was up for it you'll end up getting hurt, because it can never really workout. And since she has a boyfriend.. I mean.. COME ON! ):
STOP !!!!! DO NOT GO ANY FURTHER!!!!IF you only want sex, then you could probably work something out with the girl & her boyfriend that I'll bet they will eventually agree upon. HOWEVER... I thin YOU are experiencing feelings & longings from the HEART! In this case, you need to know a few important things. One is that you will damage the friendship if she is straight OR Bi... so you need to find ways to re-focus your adoration.
Oh, but wile re-focusing your adoration, ALSO getting "straight" what it is you want for your ideal relationship to be. Visualize it...write it down over and over....get out the kinks (not necessarily sexual kinks obviously)... And FIND YOUR JOY AGAIN! Once you do this, you will realistically have SAVED YOURSELF a ton of loss and heartache, saved a friendship, and gone from a crush to a real relationship the fits you and brings both you & the other person happy. I would suggest this video from myself; it is free:
"HEALING SERIES" GAINING CONTROL, CONQUERING FEAR-- MASTER TECHNIQUES!
VIDEO AT: http://youtu.be/x3e_7IRs6Z4 ---AND I would also suggest Paul Santisi's "Ultimate Confidence", which I myself have found helpful.
Learn your own heart, & your own dreams, and a little at a time you can make them happen in some degree...plus, you'll be happier. Let me know what happens, Much Luck To You, ~Suzanna.