What do I do about an upset boyfriend when I don’t know why he’s upset?


So, the two of us get along very well. We’ve been dating 2.5 years and we live together. Something we both traditionally do is tease one another a bit–not cruelly, but just to get a laugh out of the other.

He watches wrestling a lot. As usual, I would praise some of the cool flips and acrobatics, but make fun of the silly dramatics while watching it with him, something I do a lot. But out of the blue today, he got upset to the point of tears and asked me to either leave the room or stop making fun of wrestling. Confused, I stopped and apologized, not knowing I’d been hurting his feelings. He seemed visibly upset so I apologized and offered to leave the room before doing so quietly.

Later I apologized again, usually by the amount of time I’d waited he would be less upset and receptive to an apology and explain why he was upset. But today he just stayed… I guess “agitated” would be the word? He told me through a choked up throat that it wasn’t the wrestling thing making him upset, that he had some negative emotions to get through today and said he’d likely avoid me all day. But he isn’t avoiding anyone else, just me…

I am going crazy trying to figure out if it’s something I did or that maybe I’m too perceptive of his emotions for his taste at the moment, and that’s why he doesn’t want to be around me? He doesn’t want to talk about what’s bothering him? I don’t know if I am the one he is upset with or something having to do with me, or something that triggers him having to do with me. Please help, I don’t know how to approach this and I will worry all day long if I don’t do something.

Category: Tags: asked July 7, 2015

1 Answer

Right now your boyfriend is upset and doesn't want to be around you. I know that hurts and you want to be there for him and figure out what went wrong, but right now the best thing for the both of you is to give each other a little space until you both feel comfortable talking about it. Right now you both are upset emotionally, and wouldn't necessarily be able to talk this over logically and thoughtfully.

Give him some space, and take time for yourself to calm down, as well. When you're calm, think about what you want to say and ask. When he's calmed down as well, ask him if he wants to talk about it. If not, then that's okay. It may be hard for you to not be able to know, but it just means he's not quite ready to share what's going on with him yet. You both just need a little time. Everything is going to be okay.