What can I do to ignore this feeling?


I’ve had random people call me ugly, one of my sisters called me ugly, I’ve had my family call me ugly…pretty much the only people that don’t call me ugly are my mom, and my husband. I have such a hard time believing them when they call me pretty, or cute, or beautiful.

I’ve been called ugly since childhood, and I honestly don’t think I am even OK looking. I get a heart pounding sadness every time I hear someone say I am ugly, which happens quite often.

I just want to ignore this feeling, and I’ve tried to, but I can’t. Does anyone have any tips on how to ignore it? I’m alright with being ugly, if I can just stop the feeling I get when I hear it.

Category: asked October 26, 2014

6 Answers

Hello. Please do not think of yourself this way. Beauty is relative, and those people and your sister/relatives prolly are just consumed with their own ideas of what is beautiful to them (ofcourse dictated by the media, capitalism and the society, etc). I know how it hurts when you hear others refer to you as that. But you have the choice over what you accept as real. Will you always let them make you feel bad? You know who you are and don't accept their definition of you. Just let them say what they want to say til they get tired because you just never give a darn about it.

But If it might help, try to do something about it, do you think you need to improve yourself a little? If it will make you feel better try fixing your self. That's only if you would explore that option. But if you want to be yourself then who can stop you, right? Accept who you are and be happy with your choices. See, you got a hubby right there that loves you. I bet your husband saw something different in you that sets you apart from all the girls he met before, and that beauty makes you unique from everyone else. All the best to you!
This odd feeling you get is directly related to self-esteem.

There's a difference between 'seeing yourself beautiful' and knowing you are. The fact that you seem ugly to people does sffect you, even if you consider yourself to be OK with your looks. Maybe you should try and enhance your traits: wear a bit of makeup (just enough to make your features stand out) or get yourself some fancy clothing to bring up some more fabulousness. I'm in no way implying having more make-up or better clothing makes you prettier. I am however saying that working towards the look you want generates a confident profile.

Being comfortable with one's look is important. It defines our way of acting, our will to stand out or get out into the world. It makes a statement: "This is me. I'm proud of the way I look." Your appearence should relfect how you feel inside. Noone will get you to believe that "you're ugly" bullshit if you know, deep down, that you are pretty. Start by smiling! A smile, after all, is the prettiest thing a soul has to offer.
If you don't that you look pretty how do you expect other people to think so? Maybe you could make a change to your hair makeup ect every woman should fill good about how they look...but also you shouldn't be told that your ugly!! As long as your husband thinks your beautiful than I don't think you jave anything to worry about
Just don't care what they say. I think you're pretty. That matters.
People who attack other people's appearance are the real ugly ones. There is nothing uglier than being insecure enough about your own appearance that you feel you need to knock other people down. You have a husband who loves you and finds you beautiful and that's all that matters. I know it's hard not to let it hurt you when people say these things but you have to remember the most beautiful people in the world have people trying to knock them down too....why? Because the ones who do that are unsatisfied with their own lives and are jealous of those who have what they want.
Anyone who says this isn't worth your time. It's easier just to ignore them as they're not doing you any good. When it happens think of your husband, and what he says about you. You have to realize many people are just going to be mean. You should believe your husband, for what reason does he have to lie to you? Sisters can also be a bit of a mean area, they could be saying it because they know how it wounds you. I would just take a deep and calming breath, then ignore them. You're better than they are, so don't worry!