What can he do?


so I’m currently trying to help a good friend of mine out of his depression step by step. Most of the things are going great but there’s one little problem… He had this friend where he always used to play guitar with and one day he looked a little bit sad and lost. My friend decided to go to his house a little bit later and as he comes in his friend is dead, he killed himself. He calls 911 and they come and say that if he was 1 minute earlier they might’ve been able to save him… This obviously makes him feel guilty so after the incident he starts seeing his friend telling it’s all his fault and killing himself all over again. He’ll most likely see them in the mirror.
He has been to a therapist and it went great for a while but then it all came back again. So do any of you have perhaps any experience with it and can tell me what he can do?

Category: Tags: asked March 31, 2015

4 Answers

They shouldn't have told him that if he had been a minute earlier, he would have been able to save him. That's just really wrong and totally unprofessional of those paramedics. He needs to get rid of feeling guilty. They could give him all the therapy as much as they like, but as long as he feels guilty, he'll keep seeing that image over and over again. Most places have special talk groups for people who have gone through something similar and also lost someone. It might help him a bit if he'd go to one of those groups with people who actually understand what he's been through and where he can connect with them. I also think it would help if he'd have a talk with those paramedics and if this time they would assure him that there was nothing that could be done and that it's not his fault. Besides that, try to be there as much for him as possible. You could listen to him or try to distract him. I hope that within time, he'll realize it's not his fault and that he'll be able to give it a place.
Wow that's rough. I can't imagine his pain, but I feel like the only thing he can really do is continue to see a therapist and try to help him release some guilt because it really isn't his fault and I feel like if he realized that then things might get a little better. And if he is seeing things then maybe medication is one way to go, I'm not really for medication but I fear that his guilt and seeing his friend in the mirror could cause him to hurt himself.
It's positive that you're helping your friend. I'm sure that means a lot to him. I hope he'll be able to process it and give it a place within time. You're being a good friend to him. You're a kind and caring person.
Thank you so much, I've shown him these answers and he's going to try to do it. And I'm going to help him with everything he does ofcourse! Thank you all for the help, I'm happy that I can help him with this it means so much to me :)