What are some ways to not feel so insecure?


I’m a bubbly, happy, funny person once you get to know me. But I’m terribly shy and insecure, so I have very few friends. I feel self-conscious all the time, like everyone is looking at me and thinking things about me. I feel like I never look good enough, or act right, and I don’t know how to deal with it. So, any tips?

Category: asked October 15, 2014

5 Answers

Hey, love. It's really hard not to be insecure in a world full of what looks like perfection, isn't it? Firstly, it's important to know that almost EVERYONE has been in that place where they feel illegitimate. They feel like there's something wrong with them. They're too much, or they're not enough. BUT, I call bs! It's so important to remember that YOU are the only you walking on this planet right now. You are the only person with your very personality, sense of humor, your walk, your giggle, your heartbeat. There has NEVER been another you. There will NEVER be another you. And if you aren't you, to the fullest... You're depriving anyone and everyone you've ever met of meeting someone who is literally one in seven billion. SEVEN. BILLION. You've got so many things going for you that nobody else does. Think about those things. Remind yourself. And when you're feeling negative, literally just shoo those thoughts and emotions away. Because you are rad!! You are beautiful. Look in that mirror. Look at that beautiful work of art staring back at you. You are beautiful as a whole. Of course, when we zoom into the paint strokes and cracks in our reflection that weren't meant to be zeroed in on and picked apart, we are going to dislike it. We are going to feel bad. But you know what? Everyone is a little wiggly somewhere. Everyone has a few stretchmarks. Everyone has pimples and hair where they don't want it, once in a while. Everyone can pick themselves apart until there is NOTHING left but flaws, flaws, flaws. But you know what? It's a waste of energy. It's a waste of time. When you can look and see things that really are special about you. Your eyes, your smile, your shape. The colours in your hair. The freckles or birthmarks or moles on your skin, or lack thereof. You are a masterpiece. Realize that. Believe it. Live like it. Act like yourself. If people don't like it, or think you're crazy, maybe it's because they don't have the guts to be as bold as you will be. Maybe it's because they've got closed, uncreative minds, and they're set in their ways. They won't actually tell you that they don't like you or that you're crazy, most of the time. And if they do? Brush.. Er, shake it off! Because you are beautiful and letting someone DEFINE you, instead of defining yourself when they don't even know the whole YOU that is there, but only the tip of the iceberg.. That would be a shame. Chin up, love. You're gorgeous. I'm not just talking about your appearance, either. The way you talk, your heart, the personality that lives inside of your skull. Your mannerisms. Mostly, in short, everything. Take care. And be confident. You deserve that much. xxx
Being insecure can relate to many things from trust issues till high level of conscientiousness. It depends the type of insecurity felt by the person particular. I assume if its the case of social insecurity then it needs to be highlighted.
One exercise I've heard of is looking in the mirror each day and complimenting yourself; "Damn, you're lookin' good today, *your name*!" I know it sounds corny, but I've actually seen this help a few of my female friends who were insecure about themselves and it really does make a change in their lives.
I don't remember a lot about how it works, but I remember that it's something like every morning and at night before bed you look in the mirror and compliment yourself - like you're talking to yourself; not the mirror. It can be hard for some people to do this, but believe me I know it works. Another thing you can do is have a day out to yourself; pamper yourself. Get your nails or your hair done and feel special. Sometimes after a haircut I feel like a million dollars.
Let me let you in on a little secret about men; we don't judge women and on the most part just give a quick "Yeah, I'd do stuff to her" to our mates, but we don't like to judge because it's such a downer for guys. You don't need to feel insecure around guys; truth is, many guys would literally kill for your attention - just look at Eliot Rodger; the man killed because he received no attention from women. I'm not joking; guys really are like that.
Your attention, approval, and presence alone is worth more to guys than anything else you could possibly imagine - it's like a hidden superpower that most women don't even realize that they have. I hope I helped
I can relate to you greatly, but one day I came to the realization that it really didn't matter what everyone else thought of me. But what I thought of myself, you cannot please all, but you can learn to enjoy yourself as you--your personal well-being is all that should matter.If you still have problems with your insecurities, here are some exercises that may help you: Look in the mirror and recite the following to yourself, or, if you are struggling through the day, simply repeat all this to yourself.❁ I am worthy❁ I am more than my appearance❁ I am loved❁ I am cared for❁ I am strong❁ I am beautiful❁ I am a good person❁ I am allowed to get rid of the toxic people in my life❁ My body does not define me❁ I deserve respect❁ I deserve good things❁ I do not need to justify my actions❁ Most importantly, I can get through anything.Yes, telling yourself these things can be hard, but the more you do it--the easier it will become, and the better you will feel. Suffering is inevitable, but it can be lessened. Remember this! :)
I'm going to apply some psychology terms to this to appeal to your credibility okay? I used to have this issue too where I was constantly self-conscious about my looks, my hair, how i appeared in public and how I act around people. There's this term I learned in psych class called the Spotlight Effect. (google it for a more in depth explanation Its basically where you think everyone is looking at you and noticing what flaws you're worried about them seeing but really.. they aren't. You think they're looking at you but they really aren't. Think of a pimple on your face. Your friends only see it if you point it out. If they're as shallow as to say "HA HA YOU HAVE A PIMPLE" then drop them. People like that who contribute those sorts of comments are not worth your time. So the point I was trying to explain is that you can surround yourself with positive influences to hinder your feelings of insecurity because when you're in good company, looks will be the least of your worries. I hope this made sense and somehow helps you ! (: