Weird Crush(Es)


Okay. So. I have a crush on two boys, but they’re not really crushes?!?! I really don’t want to date them, I want to get rid of the crush.

First boy is William. We’ve been friends for about 3 years now. At first, I thought he was cute, but I honestly hated him. We argue so much, but now it’s just playful banter. Everyone always thought we were going to date, because we lived close together and we were always near each other. But he has a girlfriend. My crush developed in about year two of our friendship. We didn’t talk much, but when we did, it would be very long, drawn out conversations full of giggles and insults. Like last night. We haven’t talked in about a month, but we Skyped for over two hours, resulting in trouble from our parents for staying up way too late. I usually don’t feel anything, but like, he gets me. And his smile is very pretty.

Andy is the second boy, and this crush is weird. Andy, when I met him, was this taller than me Asian boy from California. We met over our love of Kpop. He had a girlfriend when we first met, but it didn’t faze me much. I thought he was older than me, but it turns out that he’s like a little over a year younger than me. To hide my growing infatuation, I started playing up the age difference. My friends say I’m the mother figure of the group, so he started calling me “mom” and I joke around and call him “son”. It’s not really like I have real maternal instincts when I’m around him, but I can’t help but play up that role so he won’t notice that I like him. He’s single now, and I can’t help but want to talk to him more. When I gush over him, it’s because “he’s my son and I’m proud”, but it’s really because he’s super cute o k a y.

How do I get rid of these crushes?

Category: Tags: asked May 29, 2015

2 Answers

I don't understand why you want rid of them?
First of all, I want to start off with saying that there's nothing weird or wrong with having a crush on someone. Sometimes it's an ridiculously easy thing to achieve depending on the person. That's the thing about them though, a lot of times it's not really the person themselves you get attached to, but this image you create in your head. We have a tendency to put them up on pedestals, and sometimes we forget that they're ever as much human as we are.

I'm not sure why you wish to move past them however, put in any case I think it might be a good idea to talk with them about it. Because either way, in order to be able to really move on, you need closure. And you can't truly get that without hearing their side too. As for the rest, there isn't really a manual to follow and "bam, it's gone". I think a question you need to ask yourself is wether you still want them to be a part of your life, to whatever extent that might be. It's not easy, but it's fully possible to get back that friendly relationship with someone you once had feelings for when you know and have come to accept that it's all you get. Really, the ultimate thing is time. Perhaps refocusing your energy on other things, your friends for example or taking up a new hobby. Take time to yourself. If they're really your friends, as good as you say they are, they will understand that you need some time.