Was this wrong?

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So, I invited my boyfriend (of almost two years) to spend the night at my house for NYE sometime last week and he said he had other plans that might fall through and would come over. He’s never slept at my house before, so I was happy about the idea. His mom said yes and that she trusts us, my mom said yes because she trusts me. Then, a few days ago, he told me that his old plans didn’t fall through and now his friends wanted him to contribute to the small party they’ll be having that night. I told him it was his choice to spend the night with his friends or with me, and he eventually chose his friends. I could have left it at that and found another friend to spend NYE with, but I didn’t.

Just the day before, he told me he was worried about me because I’ve been on edge lately and my mental instability and mood swings and all haven’t been getting better. Well, when he told me he was choosing his friends over me, I had an anxiety attack and proceeded to flip out on him for doing so.

After two and a half hours of arguing, I broke down and told him why I was so upset the day before and that I just needed him with me. So he decided he’s spending NYE with me.

I really wanted him to make whichever choice he wanted to make, but I wanted his choice to be me. Usually I don’t like him choosing me over his friends but this time I just really wanted him to be with me and not them. I’ve also started resenting his friends for seemingly no reason.

Usually I’d feel bad about basically forcing him to pick me over his friends but I don’t feel any remorse and am in the process of cleaning my room for him to spend the night. I’ve become heartless when it comes to his friends and I really don’t understand why because I used to love spending time with him and his friends.

Is it wrong of me to be so happy that I got my way?

Category: Tags: asked December 30, 2013

6 Answers

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I think you should be happy but you should include his friends with some things because he does need some time with is friends. You cant just take him away from his friends all the time but he should take important moments with you also. In your case, I think he should have spend the day with you because it is new years eve and you had your plans first. So, I think you should just make sure he has time for both you and his friends but make sure he is not just using either. He needs his male bonding time with friends but then special moments with you. Just try not to always force your presence upon him because he may get tiered and that would not be too good for you. Everyone needs small breaks
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Girls like us are very possessive of what belongs to us, it is 100% normal to want to spend quality time with your partner, If i was in your shoes i would've been upset too since you did plan it and the plan was for him to spend the time with you and the fact that he ditched you for a small event with his friends i would say i agree with you, if he had the choice to he should spend it with you. Although keep in mind that he needs guy time as well, on that day of the trip it was wrong of him but if it was any other random day I wouldn't push it with him, now and then after spending so much time with you and him assuring him that he loves you should be good enough and sometimes guys do need there space and go out with there friends to catch up since we do sometimes snatch up our boyfriends for a long time. xoxo
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It's normal that you would want him to spend time with you, especially on New Years. I know personally that I would've done the same thing you did. You were excited to have him come over, and he tried to say he wasn't coming. So you were right in taking control and saying that you wanted him to come over, and now he's coming over. You didn't do anything wrong, because there needs to be some sacrifice in a relationship, and in my personal opinion it makes more sense for you and him to be together on NYE than for him to be out with friends doing god knows what.
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That's a hard question to answer. Because yes he deserves his friend time but he should also see that his girlfriend needs him and wants to spend time with him. BUT at the same time, it should be HIS choice and not something he felt guilted into. I suggest you two talk it out, & try not to fight. Just open minded talk because you don't want something to happen as far as plans if its going to a forced meeting. You have to respect his time for himself but he DOES have a life outside of you but that DOESN'T mean he shouldn't make time for you when you feel anxious & need his company. But like I said, make some time before all this & talk it out.
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I mean, he is spending tomorrow night with me and the whole argument about it is over... I just don't want him sitting here wishing he was there. He invited me to go with his friends and spend the night with him and everyone else, but I had to keep reminding him that I don't want to leave my mom alone for New Years.I feel like there could have been a better way to approach it but I let my anxiety and neediness take over and I don't even feel bad for doing that.
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I understand why this might have been important to you, for your bf to spend the night with you, but i think your reaction to him going with his original plans was a bit extreme:/ You knew he had plans that may or may not have fell threw, so you should have kind of expected him to say he was going with his friends at first...Why are you afraid to leave your Mom alone on New years eve?