-Long paragraph, mixed feelings. Friendship was two years.
In the situation that we met in, it was really messed up but it was online.
She had a huge infatuation for me but I didn’t know until the day we started talking. She was severely pushing the friendship to the next, impatient, jealousy, trying for me to match her own pace. Her whole entire goal was for me to return the feelings but I was careful cause hey it’s online and I didn’t want my feelings to be miraculously there and then her fling them away.
Yes, that’s what happened. Our convos changed after. Even in the beginning when we talked she was real passive aggressive to me when we spoke.
We talked about things till now I realized we really had nothing interesting to talk about. She was just there, driven by infatuation and nothing else..
One week she got pissed and over exaggerated taking what I said, the wrong way then blocked me.
That week shattered anything I had developed..
She begged for me to unblock her after getting ahold of few friends, maybe I shouldn’t of gave her the chance.
All she wanted to do was rid of her guilty conscience. She wanted to continue being friends.
I said maybe.
But there my feelings laid there destroyed, and maybe it’s my fault for letting it appear like that at the wrong time or ever. I should of known she only talked to me to get me to return the feelings and in the end, that’s what happened.
When I say passive aggressive, when I unblocked her that week, she knew I was hurt but she refused to listen. All she could say was ‘I know what I did was stupid, overreacting, wrong and that’s all I’m going to say, if you don’t drop this right now, block me.’
I said ‘Your the one who wanted me to unblock you, and that’s all you wanted me to do, was to hear your apology? I can’t say how hurt I am? Wow. Okay.’
Her response was ‘I’m trying to salvage what I broke. I still want to talk.’
She worked so hard for my feelings to appear and the moment it did, she tore me down. Yes, I know she can do whatever she wants. I’m fully aware how it’s my fault for not meeting her at her pace. But I also feel betrayed and used and stupid lol, really stupid. I didn’t want to be hurt.
That’s why I strongly feel the only reason she spoke to me was her high feelings and that’s what held this ‘friendship’.
She told me she liked someone else, someone better. So even her sentence is correct with my theory. Sigh.
I felt used too. Your thoughts?
The friendship is just weird now. There is nothing there.
I’m not wanting to hold on to this whatever it is anymore.
Well that’s my story for the day.