Views on Adoption

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Hello everyone!
My husband and I are considering adopting an older child (Aged 10-15) in the United States. We’ve already been in contact with our adoption service and have been informed of quite a few older children/teens in foster care. We already have three children – ages 15, 14, and 2. However, I have heard from several friends (with adopted children) that the adoption system for older children here isn’t very good. Its hard to find older children outside of the states that aren’t special needs, so we were really hoping to go through with an adoption here. Granted, we aren’t against adopting a younger child but with our youngest being special needs we thought it would be easier to have a more independent child rather than an infant or toddler. Does anyone have any experience/ advice regarding this system?

Category: asked April 30, 2013

1 Answer

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My mother was adopted at age 4, but I also had a very close family friend that was like my second mother who often fostered older children (ages 8-14). I stayed with her nearly every weekend, so I was able to meet and interact with these children. One thing that you need to make sure is that your children are okay with it. With them being older, they may be jealous of the attention this other child will need, since they will be of a similar age. Another thing to think about is that, while they may not be special needs, they take a lot of attention. These kids have either been through some serious trauma or they have been in the system so long that they feel like nobody cares about them. They often act up and lie and try and cause you grief to test you-see if you /really/ want them. This doesn't always happen, but it's very likely to. They could take as much time and care as a younger child would, so just keep this in mind. I think it's great that you're looking to adopt an older child! Not enough people do.