Tomorrow is my one year anniversary with my girlfriend and I couldn’t feel more empty than I have during this relationship. We have many differences, including age (only a 3 year gap) which shouldn’t make much of a difference maturity wise but I feel like it is. She doesn’t want to go to school, or get a better job or in fact do anything that can be beneficial to us as a relationship and especially to her. I applied for my master’s program today because I realized that the weight of this relationship falls solely on my shoulders and now I know with my new promotion I’ll be working many more hours, yet I don’t see any of that as a form of motivation for her. We aren’t affectionate, and I feel no emotions from her. I don’t feel used, but I do feel that shes incapable of emotions and of being in a relationship. I do love her, and I do want a family but I feel like she needs to grow up already. We aren’t young and we are in a point in our lives where being kids isn’t an option. I want to give up; I’ve had many heart to heart conversations with her, we have gone to therapy; nothing is giving her a reality check. I want to give up, but don’t. I need options
I don't think you have many options. you've done all you can but it seems like she just wont budge. Sometimes its best to give up if its making you feel empty like that, its hard to get people to change and it makes it worse when you're expecting it when its probably not going to happen. im not going to give you false hope and say that's its gonna work or that if you do this then your relationship will work because honestly there is nothing you can do I don't think.
I think motivation can only be created by inspiration. She might need a goal to live for, a dream that can only be achieved by doing something with her life.
She might be insecure and have fear of failing, in which case you could support her to be more daring.
And well, if things don't work out, it's not a crime to give up on the relationship.I wish you good luck with how you are going to deal with the situation!
Sounds like embarking on your MA is in line with starting down a new path in all aspects of your life. If you are looking for someone to give you confirmation that you're making the right decision, I'm putting my hand up and saying do it!
Take her on holiday if you can, just the two of you for a week or so. Get away from everything dull in life and experience something new as just you two together. It doesn't have to be expensive, find a cottage/lodge somewhere you've both never been even if it is only 50 miles down the road.
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