Undecided

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Ive always thought i was straight..I’ve had sex with guys and liked guys but I’ve never really found them attractive like i feel i should.. I kissed one of my friends and i really like her and I’ve been struggling with it because i dont want to lead her on but i want to be with her but in worried that i will decide I’m not bi/lesbian and hurt her helpppp

Category: Tags: asked July 28, 2014

24 Answers

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accepted
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Having any sexual orientation is not a matter of choice. Either you are or you aren't, and there aren't any lines to separate areas between the colors, shades and blends. Something like this is also dependant on age, as raging hormones due to puberty can cause a lot of confusion on the subject of sexuality.

On the subject of you and your friend; if you kissed her and liked it, and you like her, then what are you panicking about? Go ahead and 'test the waters' of being with her. If you do decide that you aren't into girls at some time during your time together, then let that be your deciding moment from then on for the rest of your life or until you decide to re-test it again. In my opinion, it's better to try it with a friend than it is with a stranger, because a friend will be more understanding and more likely to cater to your indecisiveness, as well as there being a higher level of safety due to the factor of having known each other for some time already.

So, as a precaution, simply let her know that you'd like to experiment with her, but also let her know that you may not decide that it is for you somewhere along the road, because you're still finding out about that part of yourself. And if she's okay with that, then I'd say you have yourself a viable date.
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sometimes sexuality isn't black or white. actually, most of the time it isn't that way. it's really up to you to figure out what you identify as. the intensity of your sexuality can also vary. it's totally possible for you to be bisexual, but have a preference for girls or just not be 100% interested when it comes to guys. either way, it's important to do what you want to do. whatever makes you happy is the best course of action, and better for you in the long run
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