Asking this question on behalf of a friend of mine who have been having issues with her mother in law. She is currently under stress by her husband who doesn’t want to admit certain flaws that his mother has.
In recent times, her mother in law has been demonstrating more and more of how ungrateful she can appear to be. Whenever her husband buys some groceries for his mother, instead of showing thanks his mother asks, Didn’t you get any fish? She says this after she sees him coming through the door with two bags in his hands tired and sweating profusely. Actually I don’t know if she noticed how much strain he is under.
He keeps on justifying his mothers actions towards him that are unjust, even if it kills him. This week he will compain to his wife that his mother said something to him that grieves him. You can tell how hurt he is. Wait until next week, when you make references to it he will say, “My mother never said that to me!!!!”
Lastweek my friend and her husband had an argument. She prepared some dinner for him to carry over to his mother. Ever week she would normally share their dinner in one of those sandwitch containers. When he came back from his mother. She said to his wife, “Mom said she doesn’t understand how people can prepare this meal without adding any meat to it.”
Now the meal consisted of rice, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese with some gravy on it. There was meat but just a small amount since at the age of 91 she should be even eating any meat. She was just being merciful to her mother-in-law.
So my friend got upset and ask him? “Who the hell does she think she is”!!!!? “When you brought the dinner over to her, did she told you thanks”!!????
It is not in the nature of my friend to go off like that. She was really pissed. Her mother-in-law has done this same thing twice to her before. So how husband told her that his mother probably said thank you and and he never heard it. Anyways my friend, who is upset told him that he should share the dinner for his mother in the contain by himself. She further explained that she is not here to please anyone so he should not “suggest” to her to put some more meat on behalf of his mother’s request.
This week, he told her that she can still share it out because his mother won’t know who shared it out. Of course my friend realizing that he is missing the point, ignored him and went about her way. So he had to share the dinner.
Was she right in telling her husband to share out his mother’s meal? How can he rebuke his mothers actions apparent ungrateful behavior without disrespecting her? Right now he is more temperamental than ever. He is easily paranoid of his wife acting like his mother. Actually how would you address certain issues in this situation.
