Torn between two guys?

I’ve had a 2 hour long distance relationship with my boyfriend for a year now. We’ve been off and on but we somehow always make up. He’s always respected me and cared for me. But lately we’ve been drifting apart.

Ever since I started working at my new job, there was always this customer that came in and knew everyone that worked at my store so that’s how I know him. One night he decides to work on my vehicle so I go to his shop to have it done. Afterwards that same night we decided to hang out longer to talk and he also took me on a drive. After we got back to the shop after the drive, we ended up kissing and hooking up and obviously cheating on my boyfriend. I knew that he had a girlfriend and 2 kids at home because he told me all that the same night. And he knew that I had a boyfriend. Him and his girlfriend have been having issues and the issues have lasted for about a year now while living under the same roof. They’re basically on the verge of breaking up.

I’m just now sure what to do because I don’t know whether I should try to pursue this new guy even though I’m with someone and he is too. He basically has a family and I’m still in college going on my second year. Any thoughts?

Category: Dating & Relationships asked August 5, 2014

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melody1234

6 Answers

Maybe the relationship between you and your boyfriend is not fulfilling your emotional needs, hence the subconscious attempt to experiment with another person. Try to take a step back from "right" or "wrong", and then look towards what you want. Either decision you make, be honest and open about your TRUE feelings towards both of them. That is... introspection and growth.

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Preludefanart

I've been in a similar situation before. I'm also not judging, and I agree that you need to admit what you did to your boyfriend. When I cheated, I was afraid and ashamed, so I didn't tell my boyfriend. He found out on his own, and the after effects of that are something I would never wish on anyone else. Trust me, you need to make a choice ASAP, and be realistic about what your boyfriend and the other guy both want. If you choose to break it off with this new guy and stay with your boyfriend, don't be surprised if he doesn't want to be with you anymore. But you cannot leave it up to chance for him to find out on his own (which he will eventually), because it will just cause more heartache for everyone involved. Best of luck to you.

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baboo

Guys always had that same issues all the time when they're hitting on girls. And even if it's true, he has kids , its a family your'e going to break., well are you willing to take all that? care for his kids as well?pursue your studies first it will help you in the long run, if you're unsure about your emotions take a time off to internalize all of it. try to take responsibilities from your own actions.

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icychoco

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I know you're not really going to WANT to hear what I have to say but I think you should. This is wrong. I'm not judging you in any way, but it's still wrong. If you want to get with this new guy, you need to end things with your boyfriend and tell him why too. That is really selfish if you are cheating on him while he has no idea because you're going through a "rough patch". It would never work with this new guy anyways unless he broke things off with HIS girlfriend to be with you. I know the heart wants what it wants, but if it wants a guy who has kids and is already in a relationship while you are too, it's best you try to suffocate these feelings. Atleast for a little while until you've made up your mind on who you really want. I just know you wouldn't like to be cheated on either, no one would. It's up to you though. I don't want to say or do anything that would jeopardize anyone's relationship. This is a really difficult situation. I think before ANYTHING you need to tell your boyfriend. Honesty is the best policy and your relationship is doomed if you base everything off lies.

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Savannah

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People end up doing mistakes this is one of them,it shouldn't have happened..It would be far better for you to admit that you cheated to your boyfriend..I think the other guy should be left to take care of the family,he has kids.There are too many complex situation you might end up facing if you wish to be with the new guy.

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Shivaganesh

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Oh I have been there. While my 'new' choice wasn't as complex (no kids or girlfriend) I ended up really hurting my ex and we haven't spoken or been friendly in more than 5 years, which is fair after what I did. It's something I really regret.I think preludefanart has the best advice. Step outside the ideas of 'right' and 'wrong' and look more deeply at why it happened. You can love someone and still hurt them, you can love someone so much and yet still feel unfulfilled, frustrated and wanting more despite thinking that you shouldn't.Take a step out and evaluate what you want. I actually think that neither option is the ideal option. This new guy, can you see a future? Someone with kids and a girlfriend at home, it's not ideal, there's so much baggage there. Are you ready to take on that kind of responsibility? Your current boyfriend? Something isn't working even though he treats you well, why else would you stray?

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Syropae

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