I was in a sexually abusive relationship for a couple years. After we broke up I had a friend who I liked who always sent mixed signals back. Eventually we ended up cuddling in my bed (their idea) and I tried to make a move and they said no. I said I didn’t feel good about cuddling anymore but they said they didn’t want to do anything else. This is when I wish I’d asked them to leave. After a while they asked me to give them a massage and it becomes sexual. I feel like someone who truly had no sexual interest or wasn’t enjoying the attention wouldn’t have wanted to cuddle or have a massage but none the less I haven’t heard from them since and I am worried that maybe I misread them and that I had pressured them too much. I’ve been living with a lot of guilt ever since, I feel like I’ve become what I hate.
