Ahh where to start. Ok so my best friend Mary invited me to go to the fair with her new group of friends…. well there actually her co-workers but they always hang outside of work. She always talks about them and they seem to make her really happy. So of coarse, being her best friend I really wanted to meet them. I normally wouldn’t put myself in these kind of situation because I struggle with social anxiety, but these people make her happy and I wanted to meet the people who make her happy. So right when we got in the car, she introduced me to her friend Megan. We both said hi but soon as the drive to the fair started Mary and Megan started talking about work and there other co-workers and I can honestly say that I tried to converse with them but it seems like they just wanted to talk to each other instead. It didn’t really bother me at first. As soon as we got to the fair I started feeling like a third wheel. They where taking pictures of there tickets and themselves. I was getting uncomfortable really fast. I was looking around the expo and I saw this cool sculpture, I walked over to it to take pictures. As soon as I got there I hear my friend Mary call out to me and she come up to me and starts asking me “What my fucking problem was?” and “why the fuck did I walk away from them?”. I swear I thought they where behind me and I told her that too. Then she precedes to say “oh that was a joke” but by the the tone of her voice she was very serious. I was shocked and disappointed, I’ve never seen that side of her before. At that point I was so uncomfortable I wanted to leave, but I stayed cause I spent so much money on my fair ticket. Not to mention Megan drove us there, so there was now way of getting home. I think Megan noticed that I was feeling a little uncomfortable and offered to take a picture with me. Honestly I don’t care that they take pictures with each other I just didn’t like the feeling of being a third wheel. After that we met up with Mary’s other co-worker Jane and Jane’s best friend Sara. We all started going on the rides and I really tried to talk to everyone and be apart of the group, but I still felt uncomfortable with what happened earlier. Jane and sara where cool they where both hanging out with each other and taking the lead. I remember there was a ride me and Mary both didn’t go on because we were to scared I flat out told her “I’m sorry i’m being so awkward, I’m really trying to talk” she just said that it was ok. Soon, I wasn’t uncomfortable anymore, I was just plan out annoyed with everything I think Mary also started to notice that I felt annoyed. She would purposely be the last person in line, that way I would ride with her friend on the four seater rides and she would ride with the solo riders. I just really wanted to go the rides by myself and let her enjoy the rides with her friends. Towards the end of the night I noticed that Mary was a little quite, but again I was so annoyed I didn’t really care. After that we left.
I didn’t know where to post this. I don’t know what exactly i’m looking for whether its advice, or if I was actually wrong in this whole situation. I don’t know, I just really needed to vent. That whole week I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I actually felt disappointed in my self because I keep thinking its my fault because I cannot connect with people. By the way we haven’t even seen each other since then. We texted each other maybe three times but it was so weird. Like it felt very distant when we texted. I wanna talk to her about but i don’t know how to bring it up.
