So I finally asked for a therapist. But I’m letting my mother do everything. My best friend has been begging me to get one forever and I was too scared. Now that part is done with but the next part is probably the worst. I can’t trust people. Even on this site I have troubles. Now I don’t know how I’m going to sit down with someone and pour out everything that I don’t even tell my friends. The worst part is that my mother is looking at a female therapist. For whatever reason I’ve never been able to trust a female even though I’m a girl. Please, help!!!
As a therapist myself, what I sometimes have my clients do if they're having a hard time talking to me or are feeling nervous about sharing is to bring their laptop or iPad or whatever if they have one (paper/pen, if they don't) and chat with me through typing (or hand me letters) during the session, with their backs to me if they need to. It takes the pressure off them to put voice to their problems. In the beginning, it's been really helpful for some people I work with. And yes--- if a female is troublesome, tell your mom that and request a male before you get started.
Hi, I find male therapists much easier to talk to as well, rather than talking to another female, so I can relate to your desire to speak with one. I hope that you will be able to let your mother know this so that she can hopefully look at potential male therapists instead. As far as trust, it takes time to build trust even in therapy; and perhaps especially in therapy. Most therapists know this very well and will help you to feel more comfortable sharing as you get to know them better. Be gentle with yourself and also proud of yourself for taking this step to get help.
I remember getting -not a therapist, but- a relationship counselor for my boyfriend and I. We were going through a rough patch but both understood we needed help. I found a lady I thought would be a great help. But after the first session, I felt like she was too fake, and just stopped going to sessions altogether. Eventually my boyfriend and I hammered everything out, but I think it's soooo important to find someone you know you will be able to feel comfortable with. If a man is easier for you to talk to than a woman, THEN FIX IT. That's it. and step by step you'll figure out exactly what it is that will help you open up, but until you make the small, necessary moves to do all that, you won't get the help you need. Your friends and family are doing everything they can to try to help you, and now you need to help yourself. Yes, it's a small step but I have a feeling you're still stumbling a little bit about whether or not this will help you. Don't think, just trust. It won't hurt you, I promise. You'll be back in no time. But you need to let go first.
It is hard to trust people. Start with small things, then work your way on up. I remember when I first found this site, I was a center. As soon as it said I'd connected with another person, I had a sudden urge to close the tab and go hyperventilate. But I didn't. Me and the other person said hello, exchanged names, and I got right down to business. Told her that I had social anxiet and trouble making friends and everything.. Then it moved onto movies and I talk to that person on Blahtherapy basically daily. Now I know a therapist is a professional that gets paid by the hour, which doesn't really leave room for small talk. But you have to try. Therapists are certified people. People who've gone through years of learning just to become a person that can help people get through tough situations. Now here's a tip you can try: Write down things that are bothering you. Maybe you constantly struggle to get good grades. Write down why you're taking therapy. For example, I'd go to a therapists because I'd like to treat my social anxiety disorder (which has gotten quite out of hand). Bring the paper along with you to the therapist, and that can be a starting point. Plus, it gives you more time to talk! (More for your money. :D) if you really are concerned about a woman therapist, you could ask your mom for a male one. (And you may want to talk to them about your not trusting females?) -Hugs, Amanda
Please also realize that they have laws that protect you from them telling your mom everything that you say. They're not allowed to go home and talk about all of their clients troubles. They can't go blabbing about your problems. Be honest with your therapist and tell her/him that you're very new to this, very nervous and have trust issues. They will work and accommodate to make you feel comfortable. Try and go in this with an open mind. It can be scary yes, but it can also be a great experience. You need to be willing to heal. If you don't let a therapist in, you're not going to get anywhere.
Regardless of male or female,id suggest you just look ahead,saying to your self this is a step in the right direction and one day ill be able to cope with all my issues and im going to be fine!Just dont think that it will happen over night,as it want It may take some hard stuff for you to go through first before you see you will make the other side. Keep your chin up and just be positive about the future .I wish you luck!
Thank you all for helping :) And DreamCity you're right I haven't figured out if this will help me because I've heard lots of differnt things about therapists. One of my friends now has medicine and feels so much better, another one of my friends was depressed out of his mind, made a stupid mistake and could very possibly be spending the rest of his life in jail. I just haven't figured out how I feel about them...