The root of this frustration?


Today was my first day of this semester on my uni and I went home really frustrated. Ill tell you some things that bothered me during the day. First while I took the classes, just listening to the profesors made me think that I live under a rock and that I dont know much about whats going on outside.And that I dont really have a good “hobby” or talent since everyone else had something to say like a hobby or a real talent. Also Its annoyng how shy/awkward/quiet I am, Im tired of being an introvert and not being able to be social easly and talk with anyone freely, I get really nervous when Im talking in front of a class/a lot of ppl. And Im mostly quiet because I dont know what to say or cant think of anything to say and I dont like to annoy ppl. An other thing is that I was walking with my friend who was just visiting the uni and I saw the girl I like and she saw me(we are kind of friends.not really close tough) so I had no choice I had to walk up to her and say Hi. So I said “hi how are you” she answered and all but I said I had to go look for my clasrooms because I did not knew where they were and that i was sorry and I left really fast..and I think it was rude/mean..She was with her sis whom I havent talked to and with another friend apparently from highschool. I still think that it was mean and I wish I could spend more time with her.. and it annoys me that I dont talk to her much because idk what to say, and our conversations are monotone or ‘hi how are you” “good you?” “good insert question about something lame/casual here” etc etc..

hopefully You did not find this a waste of time..sorry it was so much. If you think its immature or lame problems..wich they probably can tell it to me I dont mind.

Tags: asked August 20, 2013

3 Answers

Well, please stop thinking that everything you say or do is lame because it really isn't and if you think that by telling us that it's lame then it makes us think its less lame then it's not working. :)
Okay, that's out of the way, I understand how you feel because I usually find myself out of place in social places. There was a funeral of the father of a colleague of mine today and I totally screwed up, even forgot what people say in such occasions. What I try to do, which might not work for you, is that I push myself. I find a situation that makes me very uncomfortable and dive into it, this slowly builds self confidence and as you get used to it your brains slowly adjusts to being is such situations.
I also try to read, news, magazines, books, articles and stuff. I keep track of politics as much as my brain can without exploding. I keep my ears open to what people are saying around me. This slowly builds up and allows you to be able to find things to talk about. I used to be so quiet before that people forget I am there. It is not nice and sometimes others start thinking you are arrogant or you think a lot of yourself so you don't talk to them. It's annoying and destroys social-image. Don't try to escape no matter how awkward it gets, let yourself struggle rather than staying safe in your comfort zone, because staying there will keep you there and you won't get better socially.
Yo, first off with your class room shyness, one way to do it is just close your eyes and pretend you're just speaking alone with someone you feel comfortable with, like your family or friends. That's how I used to do it and now I find it easy to speak to anyone, whether it be large crowds or new people. As for the girl, have you got her number, or facebook? Should try chatting to her on there rather than waiting for a chance meeting out and about. Ask her what she likes to do and try and build a topic up on that. I know it's hard to get a conversation flowing sometimes, and other times it just won't click, but if you like her ya should give it a shot! As for the hobbies thing, I know how you feel. I don't have one either! Never know what to say when folk ask me what I do for fun. I just say I like going out with friends and the usual boring crap, but if it's something that bothers ya there's no reason you can't go out and find something! Could always join the gym or start going swimming, or start up photography in your spare time, just whatever!! Anyways I hope that helped a little:-) X
Thanks a lot to you both! I really appreciate it you both helped in your own way. Im trying to deal with this issues anyway I can and the hardest one seems to be the shyness/quietness.. sometimes I get extremely nervous specially when talking on classrooms wether or not its just a little sentence for an answer or anything. Or sometimes insted of getting extremely nervous..I somehow block all my feelings if thats the right wat ro say it. And I become real serious or "cold" and barely say anything and if I got something to say to the profesor like an answer Its hard to say it because of me being so "blocked"?..but anyway..Ill keep trying to figure out what to do with my feelings and those situations. thanks a lot! and Dusted wings, about the lame thing, xD I don't do it because I think It would be less lame or because it is actually lame..its because I think it might be. its more like a warning/apology. thanks a lot once more!