The one sided side of things…


After four years one baby and another pregnancy this is not the relationship I expect. People can say I’m angry and hell yeah I’m mad. If you are a guy reading this then let me just tell you how effed up it is to promise your girlfriend everything she wants just to get your way with no intention of following through! We were fine then I moved for work. I made good friends found a great career and I was actually enjoying what I was doing. And I dropped all of that because he promised me he would be more accessible and loving. Romantic and kind. And that he wanted to marry me. So I moved to a place I hate so he didn’t have to make any sacrifices. I stopped doing things I love because you found them distasteful. And what do I get after months of living basically alone head over heels in love with him? He doesn’t want to get married anymore because he wants to see if things are gonna work out for him. He won’t tell anyone he proposed I can’t even post our engagement photos or tell my family. I deleted my Facebook because he was worried about me talking to other guys. He hasn’t made room for me in “our” home. My input means nothing. Today I finally got him to take me to dinner for the first time in weeks and all he did was complain about how expensive it was. We get home and I thought he would at least maybe wanna be intimate or effing watch tv together but no. He’s back on the computer and honestly I’m playing second fiddle to a computer screen! I’m sick to my stomach and everything I say seems to only make it worse. I just want my life back but I’ve invested every dime and personal belonging I had into this relationship I even gave up my car so our insurance would be cheap enough for him to keep both of his cars. I quit my old job and started working retail so I could move back here! I have nothing and I feel like If it comes down to it and I have to leave I should get something out of this life that I was trying so hard to build with him. Considering I put everything I had even my health into it.

Category: Tags: asked October 5, 2014

2 Answers

I'm so sorry you're going through this. In my opinion, a consuming relationship is never good. You can't bet more on someone else than in yourself.

I'm not saying you shouldn't have put so much of you in this relationship. Love moves montains, love makes sacrifices, but you cannot and certainly must not let love consume all you have.

You have all the rights in the world to be mad. Fuck it, I would be SO pissed off if I were in your shoes. It must be tough to live with the though of having invested everything in a person who hasn't invested as much in you.

But empathy aside, in my own humble opinion, you should leave him. I'm not implying that the love you and this person have is not worth the try, but nothing good will come out of your unhappiness and discomformity. Please observe your situation carefully and all the possible outcomes. However, don't forget that it's never too late to build what you used to have once again.
Girl, look at your life. You are hateful to him and depressed. The best thing you can do is leave. You obviously know you can be better off without him. It will be hard but would you rather stay put, unmarried with a jealous guy who doesn't spend a simple meal on you or struggle for a year or so and get back on your feet and have friends again. You can have a job, nice car insurance, a good support system and most of all freedom and confidence back. You can do it. Its not like you're married so it will be easier.