Struggling with a long distance relationship. I think I’m not sane. Help?


I feel desperate. I fell in love with a guy I met online, we never actually met, but we chatted all day, and he said he loved me. We’re both 18. However, I needed to talk to him over the phone. When I called him, I felt like the gap between us was vanishing. But he didn’t want to tell his parents about me, so we couldn’t call often, and I started feeling so sad I would cry every night. We’re far apart, but next year he’ll graduate and we’ll be nearer (2 hours in car). Also, he doesn’t pay to travel by train.

This made me think it could work. But things got worse, I got sad for no reason and I nedeed to call him more and more each day. But I could not. That’s why I separeted myself from him, I told him I didn’t want to be with him anymore, and we should never see each other again. That was not what I wanted, but I was so sad, and he was sad too, but still didn’t want to call me more often, and that’s how we kinda “broke up”. I think I have a problem… please, help me.

I have no friends, I hate my school, I stay at the pc almost always, I’m ALONE. He had become my everything and I was obsessed with him, but that wasn’t healthy. That’s why I was feeling so sad, I guess? I’m here to ask you what do you think about me and what I did. Do you think our relationship could work, if I manage to wait 1 year? Do you think I have mental problems? My life style is sick. What can I do now? I’m so sad and clueless, I feel lost. Thanks for reading.

Category: Tags: asked July 16, 2013

3 Answers

I don't think your lifestyle is sick, and I do not personally think you have a mental problem. I think you were lonely, and found someone who understood you. I think you became dependent on them to make you feel better.I personally think you did a good thing. It seems you were trying to become less dependent, or in your words obsessive.I think if you truly trust this person you tell them what you were feeling and why you did what you did. I think it would be best to start as friends again and then meet up sometime when you can. If you feel a spark when you meet up, then I think you should go for it. Just make sure they are who they really say they are.First things first, find what really makes you happy. A good book, baking, puzzles. Explore your interest. Especially since you feel alone, solo hobbies are best. Find what makes you happy, and be able to depend on yourself to make YOU happy, don't depend on others.
loneliness is not a form of insanity; neither is the fear of loneliness.

but the tough truth is that replacing your reality with somebody else will always make you suffer, long-distance or not. you are not 'empty inside' because somebody is missing there; you're empty because you haven't found a way of filling the void which is osmething only you can do.

the only true solution is to accept the fact that your loneliness is not some kind of mysterious curse that can be kissed away by a prince; it is a result of not knowing what to do with yourself. also, you are the only one who can acutally decide what to do with your life. decisions made by other people will always satiate you just temporarily.

reality is here and now. everything else is a product of your thoughts. is this guy here and now? he's not. you are. it was a sweet dream, but then it started to hurt, because that's what happens when you depend on dreams. wake up.
awe sweetheart ! you reminded me of someone , i remember going thro same this but not the same as yours , i met this guy online , we started talking and all that , we liked each others , but as friends . the thing is that when you're a loner , or during that period of time where you feel that no one cares about you , no friends to talk to , no one asking about you and wanting to know how are you doing .. etc. anyone could have your attention , its like you cant believe that someone is actually thinking of you , that's when you too , start doing the same by thinking of that person and WALA! you start having emotions toward that person ......... anyway that's not the point ! at all ! you just reminded me of my own self ...... as for you , why on earth did you do that ? why did you leave him ? that's not fair , honey life is too short ! you know that , you sure know it with that cancer record of your family !! just stop thinking too much ! and just go for it ! what do you have to lose ? give a chance will you !! and when you decide to actually give the poor guy a chance , i think you should be honest and tell him your feelings and the reasons you did it ...... that's what i thought ... hope i helped ?