Struggling not to fall into former addiction

Whenever those strong urges come, you have to try your absolute hardest to distract yourself. I write to help me when I feel a strong urge and listen to music. I close my eyes and imagine paradise. I eat something I really love. I find that when you feel like cutting yourself, thinking of something beneficial for yourself helps cope the urge. It's hard in the beginning, sort of "rewarding" yourself for stressing out, but it does get easier.

It's been my experience that when I have compulsive urges that are bad for me, the best things to realize are 1. that the only way it will lead to you doing something you don't want is if you let it take up all the room in your thoughts and 2. you have the power to think about and feel other things if you let yourself. For me, that includes enjoying art and entertainment, getting work done and exercising (getting on top of things) and then making a conscious effort to be awake and think about things you find interesting and positive. Even if you're uncomfortable with telling your fiance, maybe having him support you just emotionally in general at times like these might help too. Really it's all about replacing something you don't like with something new and interesting - enough to shift your focus. And if you ever need someone to talk to about it, feel free to contact me; I'll be there for you.

When I get urges to cut I concentrate on the place I'm going to cut and imagine it being the body part of a loved one. I listen to music really loudly and do other things that hurt but don't do long term harm like pressing Ice onto my skin and snapping my wrists with rubber bands.