Stepdad?

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I’ve known my mom’s boyfriend for awhile, before he and my mom got together. They’ve been dating for about a year now, and he recently asked me privately if I had my permission to propose to my mom. Of course I said yes, he’s absolutely amazing and perfect for my mom. He’s planning on proposing this Friday, the 13 of February. He’s planned a pretty sweet and amazing proposal. I told my dad about this over the weekend when I saw him. He never wanted a divorce with her in the first place, and recently he and his girlfriend broke up. He faked a smile when I told him, but a little while later I found him crying in his bedroom. I hate to see him like this. But with this proposal, how will this affect my parents’ relationship? I’m excited for my mom, she could marry this really sweet and amazing guy, but also scared. There’s going to be another parent in my life. Another person. I already know if my mom says yes, we would move in with him. I would have stepsiblings. I’m scared. Really scared.
Any advice…?

Category: Tags: asked February 9, 2015

2 Answers

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Be brave, help your dad work through this by spending more time with him even after you move in so that he feels that he has not lost you. And if you love your mom and think that this is what she wants and what is best for her, let him ask her and let this take its course.
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Josie, don't be scared. Be excited. Be nervous. Be anxious. But don't be scared. You've already stated that this man is a really amazing guy and that he is perfect for your mother.
Yes, things will be different for you. But based on your description, that won't be bad. Don't you think it is wonderful that he asked for your permission? His kids are probably great people too and they will be just as anxious and nervous as you are!
As for your father, this may be difficult. But at this point it is out of his control. Make sure that you give him proper attention and that you spend enough time with him. Don't forget to make time for him and tell him that you love him. Encourage him. And if he calls or texts, make sure to respond quickly. This will give him the support that he needs.