stay together is break it off?


It’s a new relationship (4 months) but in the fall we are going to away to school. If this person makes me happy, should I stay with them? and deal with train rides, and FaceTime dates? Or do I not hold myself back and experience everyone at my school? Our schools are about 3 hours apart, but being used to seeing someone almost everyday to almost barely, how do you adapt?

Category: Tags: asked July 8, 2014

4 Answers

It's been a while now, but I was in your similar situation. We stayed together for the first year, but things did go downhill by my third year of school. I don't regret the decision I made to stay with my partner during that time, but the long distance got to us, and we grew apart to a point where we wanted different things for our lives. At the end of it, I ended up really hurting them, and did not make the best decisions regarding our relationship. Perhaps we'd still be friends had we broken it off before school, instead of things ending as badly as they did.In that first year I was happy, but by the second semester of the second year, I was struggling. There were experiences I wanted that I felt I couldn't have, that I had resigned myself to never having. And at the end of that, it blew up in my face because I wanted those and was angry at being 'held back'.At the end of the day, you'll have the make the best decision for yourself. You don't have to break it off, and you don't have to stay together. Long distance relationships can work, but college is generally a difficult time to achieve this because you will grow and change from the person you were in high school.
Before everything, I would like to start with a quotation from one of the books I have been writing, "To love is to take risk, but love itself is risk. The love you thought that was happy actually took a lot of sacrifices"... Well, if you love that person, you will continue to love him, even if you are faraway, even if "Distance deprives your heart"... well, even if you are distant to him, it still means you stay with him if you stay connected to him, if you stay in love with him... if he makes you happy, why not stay with him, why not be in contact, why not love him still, right?

I suggest you take those risk, those suffering, face the trains, face time and face dates, if you really love that person, then do the sacrifices. Remember, a heart that is deprived is okay, but a heart that is TOO deprived will kill your love... I wish I was a great help.. good luck and well, it is up to you to take my suggestion...
Honestly if you think this person is worth it, then I say go for it. I am a huge believer in love and romance, so the times will be hard yes but if you truly love him and think this relationship can become something serious then you should say to yourself I can do this and you and your partner talk about how to make this work - You will figure out how you will adjust during the moment, three hours isn't that far away which means you should be able to see each other on weekends or whenever you have time. You just have to communicate and try your best, the world works in funny ways but everything will end in what its meant to end like and be like, trust your relationship and your partner or you have to say I'm sorry this isn't worth the pain and suffering, choice is yours
I'll speak from experience. I started a new relationship the summer before I left for college. I ended up breaking it off over spring break. A lot of it had to do with his personality and the way he treated me, but ultimately I learned that long distance relationships hold you back in college. My theory in life is that if it's meant to be, it will happen. College, however, is a learning experience. You need to be on campus or nearby in order to experience everything. Having a relationship with someone who's not nearby is stressful and it doesn't let you experience college to the fullest. Break it off before you go to school. Feel free to message me and ask about my experience any time, and I can help you through it all. Best of luck