Social Anxiety, but not?


I hate going out alone in public. I really do. I hate attention, but I love it?? I don’t know how to explain it. But, really, I just need a friend with me, then everything is fine. I cry when I’m alone in a crowd. But if I have someone, I’m okay. If I have a friend, I can be goofy and loud. Usually, that someone is my best friend. But she’s gone off to college and I’m alone again. I hate being at home, I want to go out, but I can’t do it alone. I don’t know how to make friends. I get really upset when people tell me to go out and do things, be less shy and put myself out there. That’s hard. Really, it is. In my school, in my city, I’m this social outcast. I was lucky to have met my best friend. I don’t know what to do. Right now, Tumblr is my only friend. What should I do?

Category: Tags: asked September 5, 2015

4 Answers

Social anxiety is hard. I have it. And sometimes I'm ok with going out, other times I'm not. It's hard. The best thing to do is either see a doctor and explain what's going on, he might be able to give you some meds to help calm you down when you know you're going to be going somewhere that will set you off. and then maybe try to ease yourself into. Try small crowds, then larger and see what it is that sets you off. Some people are able to do that. If not, maybe just trying seeing a therapise about your loneliness. Because you might not really have social anxiety, you just might hate feeling alone. I hope that helped. <3 best wishes to ya
I understand. I'm the same exact way and learning on how to deal with it everyday. I suggest as kumi stated, working with small crowds for now. Go to the movies and mall when it's hardly know one there and then build yourself up more more until you feel that you got it. Also look at your surroundings. See if you can find someone that's alone and talk to them. You never know, you make a friend that day. Good luck !

This might be worth seeking professional help, even medication for. Everyone has a bit of trouble with people in some way or another. But crying because you're alone in a group is a big deal. (Something is wrong, but you're not wrong. Does that make sense? Like how you love your cat, but not when it pukes in your shoe?)

I do agree with the other guys, small groups or places is a good step. Maybe pick a burger joint or a book store and go there every week. If you're really nervous, bring a book or something for you to do.

It sounds like you are an extroverted introvert. I'm the exact same way. If I'm around a group of people - even my large family - sometimes I just want to sit in the corner. I'm not great at handling these situations unless I just focus in on one conversation. Or if I'm in a concert, I don't think of all the people around me, just my fiance. Hope that helps! Have a beautiful day! :)