So lonely – want to die

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I’ve been struggling with depression since I was 12 years old, I’m 26 now. At the start of this year I had a colossal fall, and I retreated from life. It was really hard for months on end. I couldn’t bring myself to talk to anyone or even leave the house.
Recently I felt like I could start to pick myself back up, start to go back out in the world and talk to people. But the few friends I had have abandoned me – ‘punishment’ for not being around. They know I’m not well but that’s apparently not a good enough explanation.
I don’t have any family, these three people were all I had – one lives in my state, the other two were friends online who live on the other side of the world.
I’ve been trying every day for weeks to talk to someone, anyone at all, and have received radio silence from everyone. It’s deliberate – these are people who were online 24/7 for over a year of friendship and who are now never on at all – not for a single hour of a single day. I’ve tried talking to people on tumblr and been ignored also. I’m not trying to dump my problems on people, I just wanted to talk, like normal people do. about anything, nothing, whatever they wanted. just to feel normal.
this constant rejection the last few weeks has affected me so much I’m at my lowest possible point, lower than before when I retreated. I feel sick and panicked all the time. I’m cutting myself, I’m tearing my hair out. I feel miserable, I’ve lost all will to live.
I have a spot picked out on a busy highway near home. I just wish someone would talk to me, I’m so, so lonely.

Category: asked June 29, 2013

6 Answers

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Hey mate. Im on whenever if you want an instant message chat or just on my profile. In regards to real life you should find a hobby that you can spend your time doing. WHile doing that you will nutraly make friends and get your life back on track. You should also try exercise, will make you feel better about yourself.IN regards to cutting yourself go to a mirror, take your clothes off.. imagen yourself covered in cuts and scared and think of the next month you will be hiding yourself from people.. Its not worth the suffering.
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If you need a friend you can count on me, don't take your life away, give yourself another chance and others to show you what real friendship is where there's no "punishing" etc.Feel free to pm me whenever.
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Hey, ive thought and almost tried to commit many times before. I also self harm and have for a while. Before you do anything durastic like that please email me at [email protected] and talk to me! If i dont answer imediatly then i should soon. Always here for you!
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Please, Don't do anything to hurt yourself! If you feel you may hurt yourself, contact someone. You can try chatting online, if that is not helpful, call 800-784-2433 or 800-273-8255. Depression, loneliness and anxiety can effect your ability to make reasonable, rational decisions. Interacting with others can help you put things into perspective. Contact me, loneliness is what brought me to blahtherapy. There are many caring members that each support each other here. Finding a network of friends is not difficult, and this is a good place to start.
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I am sorry to hear that.I want that,too,since I was 9 years old.I had my first suicide attempt at 14,and I failed.Sometimes,the world is just so depressing in our eyes that,we don't know how to deal with it.One of my best friends want that as well recently,he's my most important friend in my life.I can't imagine the life without him.I want to talk to [email protected]
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Feel free to talk to me, sweetie. I know you've had plenty of offers, but it never hurts to have more than one person to talk to. PM me on here or email me. [email protected]