So I cut again…

None of those months are down the drain, I promise you. I've been there and I've been clean for 5 months or so and then I reacted badly and I cut myself but those 5 months that I have had was a good thing. It was better than nothing, of course back then I didn't think of it that way, but as time passes Im sure it'll get better. But I also know that relapse is really, really hurtful and frustrating and lots of thoughts run through your brain. Hopefully, if you search it up and want to get better, you can find alternatives for each reason you cut, and please be careful.

I find that helping people on here or wherever helps me the most. Making people happy who are suicidal is my favorite thing to do.

Although I have never cut myself before, many addictions are very similar in terms of effects. You have made immense progress if you lasted 5 months since the last time you cut yourself. Imagine it like this, imagine that you're very overweight and you lose x amount of pounds and now you are healthy. If you eat one fatty food you don't automatically regain the x amount of pounds instantly. It's definitely about the progress you make, it's about fighting the temptation as a whole that truly says something about your character.

Hi. I was a cutter for about a year until I got some help. I was clean for about 2 years and I relapsed. I think that if you talk to someone, a parent or a counselor, it will be helpful. You are human and you make mistakes. It is completely normal. I threw away everything I used to hurt myself and whenever I had the urges, I told myself that it doesn't help anything. It may be an escape, but in the long term, you will just end up regretting it. I hope you get better :). Message me if you need anything.

I recently just answered a question like this, and I feel the answer is for your too! FIRST I send you tons of Love! And, you can talk with me okay? Now be proud of your 5 months as you accept that everything has a time and a process of it's own...so be patient with yourself. Here goes: I understand. The cutting gives you the sense that the feelings are being released. There are several things here. Obviously, there's the rubber-band trick. Pull it and let it go really hard... it also releases dopamine so you will get tingles. My daughter used to cut... there are techniques for bringing it to a minimum...and eventually stopping. Listen to these, seriously: STAGE ONE: "HEALING SERIES" GAINING CONTROL, CONQUERING FEAR-- MASTER TECHNIQUES! http://youtu.be/x3e_7IRs6Z4STAGE TWO: "HEALING SERIES" CONQUERING SORROW, HURT & REGRET -- MASTER TECHNIQUES! http://youtu.be/d1NNRCX-p_0STAGE THREE: "HEALING SERIES" CONQUERING ANGER-- -- MASTER TECHNIQUES! http://youtu.be/xN5zrqWg7cs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xN5zrqWg7cs&feature=youtu.be ---One thing is to keep it antiseptic if you can not control the urge of course...and then showing your own mind that YOU CAN BE in CONTROL and cutting lightly and in a shape that signifies something positive...like a heart for example. Other things are food and the water you drink...pesticides and fluoride cause serious problems...including depression. The National Center for Disease published its findings that fluoride causes fluorosis of the teeth and over time fluorosis of the skeletal bones...chipping, easy breakage... but that it also causes calcium deposits on the pineal gland, and your pineal gland regulates melatonin for sleep and both natural DMT and Serotonin needed to feel happy. So if you can not get really clean water or organic food (which most of us in the USA can not)...then here are things you can buy at a store such as wal-mart that will help you... Melatonin, Vitamin-C at least 3-thousand mgs per dosage, bee-pollen & l-arginine which naturally reduce depression... also GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid) which naturally relives stress and anxiety, of which the only inexpensive bulk amount I've personally found to get from vitacost.com Let me know if you find someplace cheaper! --The best immediate thing to do is the rubber-bands & as annoying as it can be, keep telling your doctor if the prescriptions for depression aren't working for you...or if they are working but just barely...sometimes it takes a lot of time to find the correct med and the right dosage. --As to suicide... I can understand that too. Oddly, there may be good reason to stick it out & find a path that makes you happy. Trying to see the love and beauty in the world when you've been inundated by horrors is difficult to switch for the mind. There are natural botanical s that many are trying to get the government in the USA to realize are actually medicines. Also, food for thought, I once was in a coma that had to be induced because my lungs stopped working and my heart stopped and they had to put me on life-support. I was completely conscious the whole time, but it was a different experience than just being in my body. (When I came out of the coma what I had heard and seen in the hospital was verified to be accurate...real! As for the other experiences...trying to find my body and having to listen to my daughters voice and follow it while surrounded by darkness but being completely conscious ...believe me...suicide might be far worse.) --So: 1/rubber-bands or if necessary antiseptic controlled cuts with a positive symbol 2/ video/audios like the ones I mentioned... HUGE help 3/ natural treatments as mentioned 4/ tell your psych doctor (or get one immediately if you don't have one...and YOU DO qualify for medicaid so insurance is not a problem) that you need to try an different antidepressant or if the one you're on is kind-of-slightly working...tell them that because you need to up the dosage & keep telling them until the dosage amount is right for you. --Hang On! You are not alone in these feelings & experiences, okay? HUGE HUGS!! ~Suzanna