Should you accept unwanted fetishes?


I have a few fetishes (femdom related) that i wish i didnt have. Should I try to accept them and continue them or should i suppress them until they go away. Once im done with them i feel disgusted but i enjoy them while its happening. I think they affect my self esteem also cause they are somewhat humiliating. I just dont know if im suppose to accept unwanted things about me

Category: asked January 5, 2014

7 Answers

if you choose to not try to forget about them, then i think you should work on not having shame around them. most of everybody has something. if you dont want to keep them, try to replace them with something that will not effect your self esteem
Society sends us a lot of fucked-up messages about our sexuality. I would assert that almost every person feels ashamed of their desires at some point in their life.

Personally I think you should accept your kinks (it's a better word than fetish I find) and work them into your sex life. As long as it's being done between two consenting partners, what's the harm?

It's important to know why you feel this way. What about your desires makes you uncomfortable? Why can't you let the enjoyment stay afterwards? What turns those good feelings into shame? Shame requires an audience so it's important to think about where your shame is coming from.

I would argue that it's the shame and the denial of your desires that hurts your self esteem. Most people with kinks actually feel BETTER after engaging in their favorite types of play.

It's not very easy to get rid of a kink, I think it'd be better to interrogate your shame and find peace with yourself.
Usually when you try to suppress unwanted desires/thoughts, it makes them worse. If you have a fetish, I would work on accepting yourself and your sexuality. That's the surest way to happiness.
i dont have a girl. I practice these kinks alone
I understand exactly how you feel... I myself have a fetish that I sometimes consider to be unwanted and wrong, but I recently discovered that it's better to embrace what makes you different and weird than to push them away. Tomorrow I'm going to embrace my curiosity about purchasing and wearing a bra. It's going to be hard, sure... but I know it will make me feel better in the long run. I think you should do the same, embrace what makes you different. Otherwise, you'll hate yourself even more for not going down the unbeaten path.
Do what makes you happy. If it does not effect anyone else negatively - go for it!
Are you married? Does your wife know about it? Is she willing to participate? The reason I ask is because my husband has a kink as well that I am trying to understand. He feels the same way that you do....