I have been with a man for around six or seven months. The first five months were fantastic, we have our issues and arguments, but we always talk things through productively to improve us. I know I have some abandonment and commitment issues from childhood, and I’m unfamiliar with serious relationships. Lately we have been having more and more disagreement, and I’ve been spending a lot of time considering if we should be together. Nothing really has made me want to break up with him, I love him and want things to work, but it’s hard.
We have both been under a lot of stress, and there are some huge changes happening in our lives. I find that a lot of our issues come from either over thinking or over criticizing things he says or does. Ive always been someone who finds problems with everything, but I don’t want to be the girl who settles in a relationship, I just don’t know if I deserve better or if the commitment and sacrifices I have to make for that is stressing me out.
I get really passive aggressive and project my stresses on him when I’m stressed and he does something small that I’m not happy with. I don’t want to be this way. He has pointed out or questioned that he feels I am projecting and he worries he will never be enough for me, but I just get more and more defensive and angry when he brings it up.
Things will be fantastic for a few days, and than I end up getting mad and wanting him to treat me better when I get stressed or something happens, but when we talk about it I know it’s a little unreasonable to expect a perfect guy, I just feel really alone and upset. sometimes when he’s busy or something small happens. And after I get upset and pissed and we argue than I just feel bad and I’m so afraid he will break up with me Even though he says everything is OK.
Am I being selfish, or are there issues meaning we should not be together? How can I deal with things better? Is this normal to have a rough patch in the six month stage? How can I be satisfied with us?
