should we break up?


I have been with a man for around six or seven months. The first five months were fantastic, we have our issues and arguments, but we always talk things through productively to improve us. I know I have some abandonment and commitment issues from childhood, and I’m unfamiliar with serious relationships. Lately we have been having more and more disagreement, and I’ve been spending a lot of time considering if we should be together. Nothing really has made me want to break up with him, I love him and want things to work, but it’s hard.
We have both been under a lot of stress, and there are some huge changes happening in our lives. I find that a lot of our issues come from either over thinking or over criticizing things he says or does. Ive always been someone who finds problems with everything, but I don’t want to be the girl who settles in a relationship, I just don’t know if I deserve better or if the commitment and sacrifices I have to make for that is stressing me out.
I get really passive aggressive and project my stresses on him when I’m stressed and he does something small that I’m not happy with. I don’t want to be this way. He has pointed out or questioned that he feels I am projecting and he worries he will never be enough for me, but I just get more and more defensive and angry when he brings it up.
Things will be fantastic for a few days, and than I end up getting mad and wanting him to treat me better when I get stressed or something happens, but when we talk about it I know it’s a little unreasonable to expect a perfect guy, I just feel really alone and upset. sometimes when he’s busy or something small happens. And after I get upset and pissed and we argue than I just feel bad and I’m so afraid he will break up with me Even though he says everything is OK.
Am I being selfish, or are there issues meaning we should not be together? How can I deal with things better? Is this normal to have a rough patch in the six month stage? How can I be satisfied with us?

Category: Tags: asked April 13, 2015

2 Answers

Arguments happen in every relationship no matter the length. The important thing is to communicate. Tell him how you feel. The worst thing you can do is let things fester. Get it out in the open.
Dump his ass. If you have to work that hard to be happy, it isn't worth it.