Im dating this guy, and hes really not my usual type. I date popular sporty jocks, and my boyfriend is a skinny punk. I love being with him, and it wasnt expected, I didnt think I would like him enough to date him, but after hanging out with friends, he just fit into my life and made me really happy. my one issue is that I am a very proper, sometimes quiet, and reserved, and he is my complete opposite. he is loud, messy, dresses kinda like a hobo. I also have an issue with the fact that he messes with his face a lot. its one of my biggest pet peeves because of germs and propriety. he has a bit of add, so he fidgets, and he will pick at his skin, and nose, and bite his nails, and it drives me insane! I know that these issues are vain of me, but it is just a concern that I was wondering if i should try and address. I can handle the fact that he is different than me, and I think i might get used to him being less reserved and dresses sloppy, but his fidgeting makes me really upset. it stresses me out and makes me mad at him, and I dont like that it makes me upset with him. but it is a nasty habit. is there a good way to ask him to stop doing those things? or is it something I need to get over?
As a fidgety person, I think you picked the hardest thing for him to change, among the ones you don't approve. It would be much easier if you found a way to cope with this (look the other way when he does it?), because it's a long process. If you want to read up ways to keep your hands busy, articles on dealing with things like trichotillomania for example, you can get some ideas on how to approach this in a supportive way. I guess you can talk to him about it, and see if he's willing to cooperate for your sake, but do it knowing how annoyingly persistent this habit is, and if he spaces out and starts doing it it's not because he doesn't love you or else.
You should make time when you guys are together alone to bring it up and ask him about it then see how you feel, because he might be doing that because hes nervous or anxious like youll never know unless you ask him first. Then go ahead and ask him to stop it
I think you need to understand what ADD is, the habits he does are things he can't help himself. Maybe you two can learn how he can cope with his habits and do other things to help himself, I don't think it's fair that you get upset with him for things he can't help himself with.You should let him dress up as he pleases, if he wants to wear piercing, dress as he is he should be able to do so without it bothering you. You need to look past his looks.