Should I warn this girl?


So throughout the month of May I dated a baseball player at my university, Nico. At first everything was sweet. He knew all the right things to say. He would say good morning beautiful every morning etc… and at first I didn’t trust him. My instincts told me he was a player. Before we were in a relationship I asked some friends about him and they told me that he’s a player. I confronted him about it and he told me that his personality came off that way… blah blah blah I fell for it. Well we got on to the topic of sex a few weeks into dating and I told him that I wasn’t willing to give up my virginity yet. He said he’d wait, but I’ve heard that before. By the end of the month he went from treating me like a princess to ignoring me and making me feel so completely insignificant. He just stopped talking to me or barely responding. I never really got an explanation but I think part of the reason was because I didn’t give him what he wanted. About two weeks ago he messaged me on Facebook and apologized to me, but he still never gave a reason why. Well today I saw a girl posted on his timeline (we’re still friends on facebook so it pops up on my timeline) saying that they’ve been texting and how he’s so sweet. She’s an incoming Freshmen and in my major. Should I warn her about Nico? I don’t think he’s a bad person or anything but I don’t think he’s treating women right either. So should I warn her about him or is it none of my business?

If I do warn her I feel like she would just tell him. I still have the Facebook messages but it’s the only thing I have that makes me credible. I’ve never met her though. I’m so torn.

Category: asked June 29, 2014

7 Answers

I think you should put yourself in her shoes.If a random girl came to you before you started dating him, and showed you evidence that he doesn't treat women right, what would you think/feel?
should you tell her? Probably. Should you expect it to make a difference? no. It often happens that people think that either everyone else is lying or that they are somehow different. Also if you do tell her and she tells him it would be easy for him to say 1: that you are jealous 2:that you are lying 3: he didn't feel the same way about you that he does about her. the list goes on and in the end of the day it would be at best difficult for you to convince her. Also if she doesn't want to be told she wont listen no mater what you say. People are weird that way
It is not your business who he dates. And unfortunately even if you were to warn her she wouldn't listen and in the long run it would make yourself more vulnerable to out lashes from him and her both.

As much as I don't want to point out - he might be completely different with her. Sometimes the connection between two people isn't right and it might not have been entirely because of the sex. He could be more in love with her than you. And, there's no way of knowing or judging that.

I'm very sad you've had a bad experience and know that not all guys out there are like that. Follow your instincts they're not going to lead you astray.
Thank you everyone for your answers. I found a solution :)
Hey there! Well, the way I see it, Nico is indeed a player. You did not fell right into his arms even when he appeared to be so charming, so he tried ignoring you to see if you would change your mind and run back to him. You did the right thing telling him you were not ready, and you dodged the ball, but what if this girl does fall in the trap. I think you should warn her. Do it just once; if she follows the advice or not, it's up to her, but you would have done your share to try and help her.I do hope I was of any help. Good luck! :)
It's only useful to tell her if she doesn't intend to have sex with him, I guess you could go out of your way to save her time. But keep it short, and don't expect results. And own it, why are you afraid for him to know what you said? As for proof, i doubt it will get as further as you having to prove it.
If I was you I would want to warn her, but you don't really know what type of girl she is. She might not take the warning, she might get all defensive. If she tells your ex, he might make up so excuse and make you look bad. I would want to warn her too but people aren't so nice.