Should I tell him??

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Im not looking to be judged or treated like crap. I know what i have done was wrong and i suffered the consequences for my actions. Im in a different place with my life and im finally happy again. Okay so about three years ago I cheated on my husband with his brother. Naturally that’s what ended the marriage. So now I have been in a LDR for a yr and 4 months. Well this morning he asked if I would wanna runaway and get married. I told him I want to run away but not so sure about the married thing. I always told myself that I would want to date him in person before we ever took the next step. So I’ve been fighting myself for so long on whether or not tell him the real reason why my marriage failed. I want to do it in person and not over text/phone and we will see each other in a couple of months so that would be the best opportunity.

Category: Tags: asked September 6, 2014

6 Answers

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If you feel you want to tell him, tell him. Otherwise, what's the point of bringing it up, unless he asks of course, if he did, then well... Being honest is always the way to go, you know?
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It sounds like you regret the cheating and that it still makes you feel guilty. One day or another you'll feel this guilt be too much and it will come out. So lay everything on the table and if he leaves then it wasn't meant to be. After all you have probably changed the way you look at cheating from then to now, and now not to hurt what makes you feel special.
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Hello Alicia,

I think you should and in person to gauge reaction sounds good. I think if you didn't say something to him it would eventually get the better of you. I think you want to know that he is okay with knowing this about you and still loves and respects you. In a way I think that if he can accept you knowing your past it will make you feel better about yourself and help you heal that wound.
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Thank you for the advice!! I'm pretty sure I'm going to tell him it just a matter of when and how. Grace you are so right if it's meant to be he will accept my past just like I have to accept his. We have met quite a few times, he works between both our states. Very early on we talked about exes and i just told him that we were young and dumb when we got married. I met my ex husband when I was 17 and got married at 20. I don't think that I'm about to make a mistake. I would feel a lot better with him knowing before we ever did get engaged so that way he's not making a mistake. Thank you all :)
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Saw your question in the unanswered question so I decided to give it a shot at answering your question.Yes, you should definitely tell him. Communication is a good thing in a relationship, at least I think so.I had a family friend that kept certain information from her husband and it has caused them problems in their relationship.So as they say, honesty is the best policy. :)Hope this helps!
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You never meet and marriage talk is on? C'mon. You see a problem, he does not. I would be suspicious here if he know what is he doing at all. But then, I don't know your situation and make sense for you to move away from current position. I did the same mistake as he is about to do. Was young and dumb, and she just wanted to go away from her father. Ten years with wrong person, countless drama and so on. We both cheated, but I was smarter to set her a trap, so finally I could get rid of drama queen. But it didn't end there, as she felt in depression and the worst nightmare started. Cheating talk. If you had a reason for cheating, and he is reasonable, maybe you can tell him, with right words. Also why didn't he ask all this time? He will probably avoid to talk about your ex. If you didn't have a reason, well find one and keep it for emergency. You already know what buls*it men swallow over and over. I cheated 5 years in front of his eyes and he didn't get it, because I am shy on first look. He was thinking I just have this nice effect on his wife, we just friends etc. Bottom line, don't tell him if you can get away with it. I know I will be downvoted, don't worry about that.