since i was little, i’ve had a strange relationship with sex and sexuality. seeing as i’ve gotten older (i’m 16) and i’ve had severe clinical depression, anxiety, anorexic and suicidal behaviors, self harm, etc. and am in recovery, i’ve come to think that i might have been sexually abused as a little kid. it makes a lot of sense, and unfortunately, most of my mom’s side of the family was also sexually abused as children by their father. my father would never do that, but i just have such a strange relationship with sex and sexuality and i’ve been having more and more incidences of almost flashbacks – not visual, more emotional, like how i might have been feeling during alleged abuse – i’m afraid i need to talk to someone. i’ve been doing so well in recovery though, and when these thoughts stay away, i’m just fine, getting better. i’m afraid to talk about these things, i just want them to go away. what if i’m wrong and it’s all in my head? i just want them to go away. maybe i’m insane.
I suggest you take it up with someone who knows " the matters of the mind " a bit better than the average user on Blahtherapy . If you're scared and don't know how to approach this subject , try your previous psychologist / therapist . If you're scared to go that way as well , try the school nurse . They all have to follow the rules of complete " hush hush " ( forgot the word ) .
I think... that you should tell somebody. Because if you don't it'll always be there. It'll feel better to tell somebody, to talk to and be there for you, especially with somebody who can relate to that. Of course, it wouldn't completely solve your situation. Only time can do that. But keeping that within you, maybe worse.