Should I stay or should I go ?


Been with my man almost 2 years now. I am 17 weeks pregnant he has yet to at least ask me for marriage but we have talked about it. I have a lot of insecurities about him. He likes to text with other woman and I have confronted him about it many times , he simply Thinks that he is not doing wrong and gets mad at me for checking his phone. however it makes me feel he has been cheating on me. Lately he has been going out with his “tigres” on guys night outs and has not even come home to sleep couple of times or shows up at 6am. Last week I found yet again new woman he has been texting with, this time was not innocent texts, he sent image of naked couple in bed and said that’s the way he would like to be with Her also said he missed her lips, the woman replied she thought he had very special lips and well the texts go on and on. Of course I confronted him and he acts out on me trying to argue with me about all my faults and redirect everything on me as if I am the one who is doing something wrong ( I have been distant for few months due to previous issues with texts and I feel I am gonna get hurt so I sort of put a wall up and I reject him etc) He once again makes the argument about me checking his phone and doesn’t own up to his actions and says that nothing Happened. I feel so helpless and indignation about his behavior. I mean I am pregnant and he can’t even respect that. He has been wanting a child since we met and he keeps saying he loves me but I just don’t understand how someone can want a family and yet go out as he was a single man, I don’t understand how he can say I love you yet call “mi Amor” someone else. I have tried to leave and I have tried to ask him to just separate Amicably for the sake of our child but he insists that we have something good and he just moves on and acts as if nothing has ever happened. I have asked him to make changes that I am willing to let go of the past but he needs to change moving forward. He says he will but then he comes home late again and continues with the phone passwords and mysteries. To make my situation worst , I was let go of my job as soon as I announced I am pregnant. I tried seeking for legal advice since I feel I have been discriminated but due to small business with less than 10 employees there is not much I could do. So now I find myself unemployed , pregnant and unhappy. I am an emotional wreck , I cry everyday. I am not sure how to go from here. My heart tells my I should leave but my mind tells me I should stay for my baby since right now I have no money or place to go

Category: asked March 8, 2015

4 Answers

Anyone who texts other people and comes home at six in the morning, if at all, and is in a relationship, shouldn't be in a relationship. That man is cheating on you. Sending naked pictures to another woman and telling her he "misses her lips" is infidelity. And based on what you shared with us, no matter how you go about confronting the situation, the blame will be placed on you. I understand you're thinking of staying with this guy because of your child, but that's twisted logic. You and your baby are essentially one person right now, as you are pregnant. So your health is imperative to your baby's health. By staying with a man that makes you cry everyday and stresses you out, that is in no way good for your baby.
Oh man, get rid of that loser. Don't raise your baby around that! He'll be a crappy father and you will most def be better off without him than with him. Your baby will sense the unhappiness and misery that he will put you through. You'll be ok, and might even find someone else that is totally committed to you and your sweet little baby. ;)
What kind of person he is, I know you think it's better to stay for the baby but know this such person is not going to be a good dad, all he will do is make child's life miserable too. He makes you cry, do you think you could stay if that's what happens to your child too. I say it will be better to have some help from family or relative or friend. I know people changes so maybe your action will put some sense in his mind and maybe he might change for good and then he will be a better father and a husband so all I can do is to advise to try to make him understand that either he change himself or he looses you both...
First of all. he's probably cheating on you but I doubt this is as one-sided as it appears. Was the child something the two of you planned and decided to do together or is it the result of carelessness and irresponsibility? Before the pregnancy had you discussed marriage, monogamy and the status of your relationship? He has a responsibility to that child, but if he's not ready for committment, forcing him into isn't going to do anyone, especially the child, any good. I'm not making excuses for him, but if he wasn't ready before the pregnancy, he's not ready for it now. He may truly love you, but that doesn't mean he's ready for a wife and kids. Do what's best for you and your child and take some responsibility for the part you played in the situation you're in.