What’s bothering me, is that I am majorly lacking companionship and loneliness is hitting me more than ever before. I’ve been single for three years.
I have Bipolar 1 with Emotional Intensity Disorder. Basically, it means I feel emotions stronger than the average person and my emotional “floodgate” just doesn’t work sometimes. I’m in very well-renowned program right now to help myself, and I consider myself to have a decent handle on it.
I have no friends, and by that I mean absolutely no friends. I have family that doesn’t understand and nobody close enough to me that I can tell how my day is going. I have my therapist, that’s really it.
What do I do? Do I put myself out there, or continue to be on my own without anyone? Everybody leaves, that is the only conclusion I have. Is it possible I could ever have a healthy relationship with someone who accepts me as who I am? I can’t afford to be in a relationship with someone with a mental illness as well. I just can’t see that being healthy…
Maybe I am just desperately clinging to what normality I think I have.