Should I remain alone because I have a mental illness?


What’s bothering me, is that I am majorly lacking companionship and loneliness is hitting me more than ever before. I’ve been single for three years.

I have Bipolar 1 with Emotional Intensity Disorder. Basically, it means I feel emotions stronger than the average person and my emotional “floodgate” just doesn’t work sometimes. I’m in very well-renowned program right now to help myself, and I consider myself to have a decent handle on it.

I have no friends, and by that I mean absolutely no friends. I have family that doesn’t understand and nobody close enough to me that I can tell how my day is going. I have my therapist, that’s really it.

What do I do? Do I put myself out there, or continue to be on my own without anyone? Everybody leaves, that is the only conclusion I have. Is it possible I could ever have a healthy relationship with someone who accepts me as who I am? I can’t afford to be in a relationship with someone with a mental illness as well. I just can’t see that being healthy…

Maybe I am just desperately clinging to what normality I think I have.

Category: Tags: asked January 9, 2015

4 Answers

You deserve happiness just like any other person. You may struggle with mental illnesses, as do I. But those things do not define us. It may be harder for us to handle relationships. It may require more understanding and patience. But by no means should you stay alone just because you battle with these things. Bipolar is something that has run in my family and in some places has caused some serious damage. But, there are also a lot of people in my family who chose to ignore it, and live an unhealthy life. I battle with a lot of things, but I try not to let those things define my person.Like I said, you deserve to be with someone, have friends and be close to people just like anyone else. It may be hard, but that doesn't change anything. It's just a matter of finding people that are healthy and worth investing into. People who will be understanding, willing to work with you, be patient, not judge. There are people out there like it. Even if they are very hard to find. I don't have many friends either, but I don't want a lot of friends. I'm content with the select few I have. It took a lot of time and energy, but I have built solid friendships with people who get it. And don't bail just because I may have a bad day. It is true, a lot of people leave. I have experienced the same thing. I've had more people walk in my life just to walk out. Ive had people in my life that I thought I could trust, that ended up hurting me and walking away. Its hard. It's discouraging, lonely and heartbreaking. But we have to not allow ourselves to believe that we are undeserving. Truth is, those people who leave don't deserve you! Don't discredit yourself or take away from yourself just because so many don't know how to accept and appreciate who you are. In my experiences I have been left to feel that this world doesnt really except those that are different. People don't always know how to respond or react to different or mental illness. So it's easier for them to judge or walk away. But not everybody is like this. There are good people out there even when it feels like there isn't. You are not alone in these feelings. And my inbox is open to you if you ever need a friend. I can relate. Just don't forget, you deserve good things. You are worth being loved.
It doesn't matter who you are, what you look like or what you have, you deserve to have someone just as much as everyone else does. Certain things might be a bit more difficult for you, but that doesn't mean that you should stay alone. There will be people who will want to be with you for you. I know that I personally have been what a variety of people, going from autism to adhd and other things. When someone loves you, they will accept you for who you are. When you meet someone, take your time to get to know them. If you attach to fast, it might cause you pain. In relationships there's always a possibility to get hurt. Sometimes a bit or sometimes a lot. It's your choice to choose what you're comfortable with. Remember that you deserve to be loved just as everyone else does. You're good just the way you are and someday someone will like you for you.
The great thing about life is no matter what you are going through, there is someone out there that will accept you for who you are. Even then, you don't need other people's approval to feel good about yourself. But as far as your question if you should stay alone, absolutely not. It is a matter of what YOU want. If you want to be alone then that is another story, but if you want to be with someone, find someone that makes you happy.. but not only that find someone that understands you and is right for you. There are plenty of fish in the sea, don't be discouraged by former relationships. Someone will come along that will make you happy! :)
I understand how you are feeling. I also have Bipolar, And I do not have that many friends. When I feel like I am alone, I'll go to a yoga class. It is safe I don't have to talk to much, but we are all people that see each other every week and have a common interest/goal. Go to a class that you might be interested in.Another thing I do is Volunteer a lot. It builds self confidence working with others I find. You might meet a new friend by doing so. :) As far as dating someone with a mental illness to, Why not!? This person could understand you more then anyone else could. Just putting that thought out there.Keep your chin up!