Should I give in?


Okay well. I was with my boyfriend for 6 years and I love him so much. Like, I really do love him. He means everything to me. Unfortunately, my friend recently tried to commit suicide. My boyfriend doesn’t like him because he’s gay and he’s a crossdresser but I went to the hospital anyways to see him. Without telling him. The next day I had him pick me up from the hospital and take me to school. We got into a huge fight and he called me some names I didn’t like. So I called him a name and he slapped me. This is BY FAR the first time he ever laid a hand on me but I made him pull over and I broke up with him and walked home. I feel like maybe my decision was in the heat of the moment and the slap was a one time thing. He keeps trying to get ahold of me and he’s apologized a billion times. I love him so much and I want to say yes but I’m afraid. I’m equally terrified of being alone. I don’t know what to do./: I’m just miserable without him.

Category: Tags: asked November 24, 2013

5 Answers

Whatever you do, don't let "I'm afraid to be alone" the reason you go back, there are plenty of people that will date you and not hit you (in a moving car, wtf?!?). You could also think about it for a while, and decide after he chills out, I'm afraid that if you go back too soon he is going to learn that all it takes to get you back when he hits you is apologize 2 billion times and double the effort in contacting you. 6 years is a lot of time, but by now you are evaluating spending a lot more of time with this guy, so be sure to sort out the "I see whoever I want!" thing.
From what you've explained here I don't think getting back together with him is such a good idea. Besides the slapping, which is a complete violation of both your trust and your personal space, someone that controlling (i.e. controlling who you are friends with and the like) isn't in the right place to be in a committed and trusting relationship. Every relationship is going to have arguements, but when it turns nasty, when the name calling is too harsh, and when physical abuse occurs, there is only ever one option: move on.
The last thing i would do is slap my girlfriend, you can try to start over and see where that gets you but personally thats a red flag.
Girl, no. He crossed the limit, it starts with a slap, it ends up with abuse. You need to get away from him as fast as you can, you can't let him take adventage of you in this way. I mean, you should be able to go visit a friend who almost killed himself for god's sake! Do not let him take control of you. I'm sure you're an independent girl and you'll be better off without people like that. I'm sure you're not "miserable" without him. You'll find someone else who would never put a hand on you and you have to tell him that. Make him understand that what he did is unforgivable and unforgettable, and why he did it is even worse. Of course I can't force you not to get back together with him but please think deep before you do it. What would you rather? Just a broken heart, or a broken heart with a broken jaw? I hope you'll make the right decision.
Do what you want, I think rinseandrep is right, but if he do that again, if he just raise his hand, it had to be over.