Last year, I auditioned for a play. And I met this guy. He was four years older than me, and possibly the most popular guy at my school. So I got the lead and he got a part too. We were going to rehearsals and getting closer and closer. Soon we were like best friends. He was like my older brother, and I really enjoyed being with him.
After the play was over, we were really sad, because we loved spending time together and I loved being with him. So we started hanging out more. One day he told me he loved me.
I was really young, so I thought he meant like a best friend kind of love, like a brotherly love. But it was more. His best friend told me everything that he said to him and he said some serious things about wanting to be with me.
He really loved me.
But I was scared because I just loved him like a brother and didn’t want anything to change, and he was saying really serious things. Things were moving too fast for me, but I didnt want to hurt him. But I didn’t say anything. So we kept spending time together, and he started drifting away because he thought i didnt feel the same. Then I realized that I was starting to feel the same. Or at least I thought I was.
People used to say things and ask me questions, but I was embarrassed because he was so much older than me.
Then he left for college. Its been a year and a few months since he told me he loved me.
I do love him, but I don’t think it was the same way he loved me. I’ve grown up a lot since then, and I don’t think I know what real love is. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced it.
How can you say you love someone and then stop talking to them? Was he lying when he said that?
And I really miss him. But I don’t want to talk to him first because I don’t want to seem weak and desperate. What should I do?
