Should I feel bad for missing him?

I had a really good online friend named Katie. We talked all day, and were really similar. I sometimes hold a tinychat and people who followed my blog could talk to me anonymously on there. I was talking to this dude on there who I really connected with, so we exchanged kik’s so we could talk in private. It didn’t have any sexual connotations, I just wanted to talk to him without any interruptions.

So he said his name was Jack, but that was it. I slowly got more information about him, and it turned out he was Katie’s boyfriend! I straight up asked him whether Katie would be okay with us talking and he assured us it was fine. I even asked her and she agreed so I thought, great! Another friend! Although he was 27 and I am 16, he was really funny and down to earth. I had never talked to a man online before, so I was really enjoying the attention. There was never any sexual conversations at first, I didn’t want that. I had seen a picture of him and I was not attracted to him, but slowly I noticed he would flirt with me. When I told him I was a shy girl, he told me “He liked girls who looked down at their feet.” He also complimented my appearance and personality. When he told me ‘Katie’ (Who lives in Canada) wanted to give me some Breaking Bad memorabilia I was really happy, but he would send it as he lives in the UK like me. So my parcel arrives from him, he had given me a new Breaking Bad set, a set of Cards Against Humanity and even written me a letter. After about 2 months of talking, he told me out of the blue that he would be deleting his kik because “Katie was getting anxious about us speaking.” And like that, he was gone.

As the days passed, I began to miss him more and more. Now I want nothing more than to speak with him again, but I shouldn’t. I don’t know what I expected to happen. I’m just wondering what you thought of the situation, do you think it was at all creepy how he talked to me? Was I in the wrong? I just want to hear your opinion, thank you.

Category: Dating & Relationships Tags: Lonely asked December 31, 2014

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Naomi Rose

3 Answers

I think it's normal for you to feel that way. However, it was NOT okay for him to be flirting with you or even sending you things! He's much too old for you! If you are 16 and he's 27 he doesn't have any business talking to you in the first place. He should be more adult anyway and choosing not to flirt. Sending you things is a bold move if your parents don't know. If he was a guy more your age Id say it's normal to miss someone who makes you feel good, special and sends you gifts. That kind of attention is always nice. But honey, stick to people your age. Don't mess with guys that old! Anyone that age willing to flirt with someone your age is a RED FLAG. Get away from that before you get hurt. They'll tell you all the things you want to hear, but truth is, they are a dangerous person to be involved with if they're okay with doing things with very young girls. BE CAREFUL

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Karacata Anam Cara

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It's perfectly okay that you miss him! You guys had been good friends, and suddenly it was over. It's okay to mis him, just give it time. Best of luck to you! xx

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kaitlyn

It's perfectly natural to miss him. He was a part of your life, and even if you weren't attracted to him, you cared about him, and that's hard to let go. I know how appealing it can be to try to regain something lost forever. I've tried many times to go back to the way things used to be and it never works. And that aside you need to watch out for yourself more, you shouldn't talk to someone who flirts with girls so much younger, and you shouldn't give out your address or except gifts online. You need to look out for yourself first and foremost. I know what it's like, I was recently in a similar situation, only it was flipped around, me and this girl were becoming very close. We met on a dating app and she had told me she was 19 and I truly cared for her. I found out she was actually 16, luckily before anything happened between us. I'm 22 and she knew that and that is not ok. I had to cut all ties with her and it hurt. It's still hurts and I still miss her but it's getting better. And it will continue to get better. There may never be a time when you look back and don't miss him at all, but there will come a time when you will realize that even though he may have made you feel excepted or cared about or loved or important, whether he was lying or he was telling the truth, whether he truly cared or was using you. Someone will take his place, lots of people will make you feel the way he made you feel, lots of people will care about you. I have never met you, I've never talked with you, and I care about you. In the end it's ok to miss him and you shouldn't feel bad about it. But it's not ok to let missing him, to let the pain he caused you, stop you from going out and moving on. I hope this helps. :)

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Bird