Should I feel ashamed? Is it gross? Do I need to die? Any advice?

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Ever since I was in 8th grade I have developed feelings toward other guys that I grew to know. I just never told my feelings until I started 9th grade this past school year and I would attempt to be “affectionate” and it would overdo itself. I never really opened up to anyone with my true feelings except one person which I liked. I just never have done this sort of stuff and most of my “friends” think that it’s funny to judge me for how I felt about specific guys. Many people say that it’s okay to feel this way…. But those are girls . I don’t really enjoy hugging girls for a strange reason like I do guys because I just feel uncomfortable to do so because I always feel some pain from like jewelry or something on them that hurts. Hugging guys is more comfortable for me (really just straight guys) because they just don’t make me uncomfortable and they in all honestly have a body where I can just fall onto them and hug them. And in all honesty everyone that I’m not close friends with but are friends with think it’s weird. No kissing guys for me is weird for me because I never have personally done it with another guy but I have attempted and tried to but there isn’t really anyone that would like either do it either because they are straight or because I’m not a girl. Would it make you gay to kiss a guy that is straight? What is it even like kissing a guy? I honestly love the feeling of having a guy’s arms around my abdomen but it seems terrible. I don’t know honestly it takes a lot of courage to post this. I went for a bunch of 12th grade guys / seniors that graduated and I’m a 15 year old rising sophomore. Any advice or opinions are greatly appreciated .

asked June 11, 2015

1 Answer

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You sound like you are pretty ready to be physical with people but pay attention to not exaggerate:
http://captainawkward.com/2011/11/23/guest-post-i-dont-have-a-friend-zone-question-140/