im a fresh graduate of accountancy. i didn’t really want to take up accountancy in the first place, i want to be someone who has a science related career, like nursing or marine biologist, just the exact opposite of what i am now. so, my mom wants me to take the licensure examination. when i was still studying, i always tell myself that i have to graduate accountancy no matter what, because my mom really really wants me to. so i did. my mom wants to retire from his job now and she always tell me that i’m the only one she’s waiting for. once, i have a stable job or once i can earn money on my own she’s gonna retire. before i graduated i really planned to have a job immediately after graduation, setting aside the licensure exam for a while, and that still what i wanted. i really, really wanted to work first before taking the exams. should i follow what i wanted or what my mom wants. seriously, i’m tired of holding calculators and solving problems on books. i feel like i’ve done what my mom wanted me to, this time i want her to make me do what i want to do. since the day my mom dictates my life, its as if i can’t make any decisions on my own, its as if i want to do something or anything that i wanted no matter what the consequences. i wanted to feel failure, tears, happiness, contentment, and success in the things that i decided to do on my own without any influence. seriously, i wanted to feel those things ’cause i’m scared that i might not be able to stand on my own. i know its for my own good but i wanted to take steps one a time from here on.
PS. by the way, my mom is sort of something, once i don’t want to follow her anymore, she might kick me out the house, so i’m so scared that if i do what i want, she might do that, but still, i can’t find enough encouragement, motivation or reason to do what she wants. i’m just scared and trapped.