should i do what i want or what they want?

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im a fresh graduate of accountancy. i didn’t really want to take up accountancy in the first place, i want to be someone who has a science related career, like nursing or marine biologist, just the exact opposite of what i am now. so, my mom wants me to take the licensure examination. when i was still studying, i always tell myself that i have to graduate accountancy no matter what, because my mom really really wants me to. so i did. my mom wants to retire from his job now and she always tell me that i’m the only one she’s waiting for. once, i have a stable job or once i can earn money on my own she’s gonna retire. before i graduated i really planned to have a job immediately after graduation, setting aside the licensure exam for a while, and that still what i wanted. i really, really wanted to work first before taking the exams. should i follow what i wanted or what my mom wants. seriously, i’m tired of holding calculators and solving problems on books. i feel like i’ve done what my mom wanted me to, this time i want her to make me do what i want to do. since the day my mom dictates my life, its as if i can’t make any decisions on my own, its as if i want to do something or anything that i wanted no matter what the consequences. i wanted to feel failure, tears, happiness, contentment, and success in the things that i decided to do on my own without any influence. seriously, i wanted to feel those things ’cause i’m scared that i might not be able to stand on my own. i know its for my own good but i wanted to take steps one a time from here on.

PS. by the way, my mom is sort of something, once i don’t want to follow her anymore, she might kick me out the house, so i’m so scared that if i do what i want, she might do that, but still, i can’t find enough encouragement, motivation or reason to do what she wants. i’m just scared and trapped.

Category: asked August 18, 2014

5 Answers

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If you want security, listen to those who has exprience, like your mother. She probably cares very much for you and want you to be not just alive, but have success.If you want adventure and feelings, you should go into what excites you, not anyone else.It is not an easy question you have, everyone wants to do what they want but everyone is also afraid of various consequences.I don't ever think that your mom has the same feelings as you do, she is probably more scared that you will fail than you are, and you probably want to experience the part of the world that you are curious about.You don't have to take a decision now. You can decide that this question is something important for you and that you need to think about this. I propose that you get in contact with marine biologists for example and ask to make an interview and go with them on their job for a week, you can say that you know accounting and are eager to help as well, but that your main goal is to find out if you can do what they do and still have a sucessfull life.You will still keep all your accounting skills and be able to go on with that life. This week of soulsearching is just to figure out what you can do and what you want to do. It's simple like a trip to the museum.Also, there is nothing that stops you from asking them about job opportunities and searching online for jobs like a nurse or a marine biologist. This will help you see what you need to know to get such a job, and if you can get it, maybe they need an accountant and you can go from there. This also gives you an idea of what kind of jobs there are out there and how much you need to know to get such a job.Simple plan propose: Search online for jobs, just looking and learning what are sought after. Get in contact with nurse/marine biologist and ask for interview, job oppotrunities, what one has to know to get such a job and ask to see how they work for a week.And it's allways good to see how different people work, it can look good on a resumé.
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i didnt even read all of your story to know the answer to your situation. ALWAYS do what you want. Because youll just never be happy if you do what others want you to do. If you end up doing a job you dont even like you will just be misarable because i see that happen to so many people. listen to your gut and imagine where you would be in the next 15 years.
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always so what you want... follow your gut and ALWAYS ALWAYS do what makes you happy.
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There was a movie I saw once called Peaceful Warrior. Check it out when you can. But there was a quote in there that said “everyone tells you what's good for you. they don't want you to find your own answers. they want you to believe theirs.” You have to find the answer within your hear.t You want the struggle, you want the fear of failure and rise above it all then live your life the way you want to. There will be many opportunities to grow. Throw yourself out there in the world. You'll be making money so why not go on adventures? Why not see the world? why not go and try something new with what you will earn? Why not complete what you're doing now and when you feel that it's right you can go after your dreams. Dreams don't have an expiration date. Why learn about what you love to do in your spare time so by the time you're ready to go for your dream you are well knowledge? Why not sign up for classes or volunteer with scientists or nurses? There the red cross, museums, zoos, like a lot of places offer or will take volunteers if you really want it you will find a way. “The journey is what brings us happiness not the destination.” You will struggle with life but if you keep pushing yourself and keep trying you will find the answer. You will the way that's best for you. You can do anything you want. You're the author of your own your story. You have time to think about it and do what you really want to do. If you complete what you're doing now then maybe later you can do what you want for yourself. You'll be in a good spot. I seen many people do that. Do something they didn't want to do so they can have a good secure financial status then do what they wanted to do with their lives.“A warrior does not give up what he loves, he finds the love in what he does” If you truly want to do something you love then there is no stopping you. You will have the passion til the end of your time. And there are places out there full of amazing scientific attractions around the world. Maybe you want to visit them. The possibility is endless us like your passion.“Life has three rules: Paradox, Humor, and Change.- Paradox: Life is a mystery; don't waste your time trying to figure it out.- Humor: Keep a sense of humor, especially about yourself. It is a strength beyond all measure- Change: Know that nothing ever stays the same.”these are all quotes from Peaceful Warrior.
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If you spend your life doing what everyone else wants, you are not only missing out on things that could make you happy, but you might also end up resenting them further down the line.

Your mother wants the best for you, like any mother does, for you to have a secure job etc. And while it's admirable and will pay the rent etc, are you really prepared to spend round 40 hours a week working a job you don't like?