Should I cut off the contact with her or what should I do?


So there’s this girl that I’ve been talking to/meeting. Everything was going the right direction or at least I thought so (fe. when we where hanging out we would give each other a quick kiss for goodbye), until I asked her the big question “do you want to be with me”. She said that she just recently has been out of the relationship and doesn’t want to get into another one just yet, she needs time and she want to be friends for now. I was okay with that and understood that she needs time. But since then our relations changed. From a kiss for goodbye it went to a high-five for goodbye. She started calling me “friend” more often, etc. But still she would say “i love you” or say some sweet sometimes even nasty/sexual things towards me. So after I while I started feeling uncomfortable in this “friend zone” situation. So I told her that I still have feelings for her and would like to be with her. But she replied with the same thing as before, that she doesnt want to be in a relationship and it’s better of if we stay just “best friends”. Now I told her that I don’t know if I can do that, because I know my feelings will get in the way (which they do) and it will make it painful for me. So she just said that “You don’t love me, you’re just attracted to me” and after I tried brining up the topic again she was just ignoring it, trying to change the topic, etc.

So now idk what to do. From one side I can’t stand when we’re not talking and when she’s not writing to me I am writing to her, because the thought of her being out of my life is painful, but on the other hand I don’t want to be her just “best friend” because I constantly have feeling for her and talking to her, whilist knowing that we won’t become anything more is extremely painful for me. So one way or another it’s painful for me. And I just don’t know what to do, that’s why Im asking for advice.

Category: Tags: asked April 24, 2015

4 Answers

Trust me, dump her as fast as you can. Been in this situation too many times, every single time I held on contact with her because I thought maybe, just maybe things will change. They won't. They never will. Tell her this is a bunch of crap, and she knows it. She needs to give you a straight answer, and if she doesn't leave. Trust me, you don't wanna drag this out for months. If she gives you a "runaround" answer still, she doesn't respect you to be honest with you, why both with her then?Good luck. :)
I suggest you ask her one last time and see how she reacts. Do make up your mind that if she doesn't give a straight answer even then, then you WILL leave. Cos otherwise, it's just you getting hurt over and over again. And it's best to leave such things which are not gonna end up in anything, anyway.
things are very hard before they become easy. Letting go wont be easy, tbh. But some things you just have to do for yourself.
Just stop talking to her- cut all contacts. You will be fine, eventually. She isn't the last girl left on the world anyway. You can get someone better, who respects your feelings, and would love to commit too. And not leave you hanging like that.
good luck!
Take your leave, you can come back and continue the friendship when you have no more feelings for her. Make no mistake, you are keeping yourself in the friendzone, and her in the girlfriendzone.
I'm in a similar situation like that, with this girl that I know it's hard to do but sometimes as Males we have to react and ask that one girl out, it could be a casual conversation it doesn't have to be sexual.