Should I break up or keep hanging on?

I have been in a long distance relationship (now married to them) so I can understand the difficulties and frustrations you are going through. We were 10099 miles apart, or 16253km (othersides of the world).

Long distance relationships require a long-term plan, and someone will at some point, have to make the sacrifice of moving. My partner travelled to see me, and I travelled to see him. I made the move to him, and established myself in the new country. But it takes time, a lot of time and we went to couples counselling to help us through the more difficult patches.

He's bailed on you four months in a row. Work is work, but at some point he could have taken a bit of time off to come see you. You've offered to go to him which is a great offer to make, and he's rejected that. That's a huge warning sign for me. When my partner couldn't come see me, I went to see him, it was fine.

You can't always follow your heart. Your heart has to make decisions in conjunction with your brain. Yes you love him, but actions DO speak louder than words. While I can't tell you what to do, I can suggest that you talk to him about your concerns, and indicate that while you care about him, you're not happy with the arrangement. You understand that he's working a lot and very stressed, but the inconsistency is making you doubt the legitimacy and authenticity of your relationship. Use I statements (I feel that......). Ask him why he's refused to let you come to him if he's schedule means he can't come here. I think there's something else going on there that he's not letting up on, otherwise I don't understand why you can't go see him.

There are two sides to this. I can agree with Blueberry that you should follow your heart, though sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows. It's understandable that he says that he wants to visit you. He wants to be the one who makes the effort to come see you and he wants to be the one who pays for it. Maybe he's just busy because he's trying to be able to afford it. If you really love him, then what's the hurry? Give him some time. If you're into him, then he's worth the wait. Think thoroughly about this.

I agree with some of the above post. That just doesn't sound right. You deserve to see someone, and being that you have offered and he declined, you should find out why. Personally I know it's hard but you should end things.

Following my heart is getting more difficult.

He told me he'd rather fly to where I live, because the weather in a warm weather state. I'm going to suggest that I fly out there one more time and if his answer isn't favorable, I'm going to end it. And I've even told him that the flight would only cost me a $25 fee since I would be using miles I have accrued.

Follow your heart