Should I be worried about my relationship?

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I’ve been dating my boyfriend since sophomore year of high school. I’m currently a sophomore in college at Stanford University, he’s attending Princeton University. However, I’ve noticed that we’re beginning to drift apart… we talk less often and when we do talk he speaks casually. I think there’s something going on… it took me a long time to find someone with common interests. I’m afraid of losing him… what do you recommend I do?

Category: asked November 14, 2014

3 Answers

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Long distance relationships are tough. And having a long distance relationship while you are in college is not ideal.
Someone I knew commented about how much fun college became after she broke off her long distance relationship! I've known others that broke up, and then got together after graduation. Distance can adversely affect relationships. But it does not have to adversely affect you!
The short answer is that you should not worry about your relationship! There are likely many people at Stanford that share your same interests. Go out and discover them! Make new friends! College is supposed to be hard work offset by great fun! If your personal relationship survives...great! But if it doesn't, you both can still have a wonderful and rewarding college experience!
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Before you go on, ask yourself this: Is it HIM I want? Or just someone like him? You mentioned it took forever to find someone with common interests. This may mean you are clinging to him because of that. Imagine yourself in the near future, dating someone with the same interests etc as you, just a different person. Can you be fully happy with that person? If not, if there is that part of you that just needs HIM, then you know you can't let him go.Now, I don't think that the speaking less often and more casually necessarily is a problem. My mother and my stepfather met when I was young, at first they called and texted each other constantly and were always kissing, touching, holding hands, etc to feel close. After their marriage, they didn't show as much outright physical affection. This concerned me; I was around 11 or 12, and I didn't really know what was going on. I thought they were drifting apart. I confronted my mom about it, worried that they didn't love each other anymore. She laughed, and explained to me that she loves him even more than when they got married. The only difference is, they don't need to constantly be touching or kissing to be reassured with this. The love is there, and it does not need physical contact or flirty talk to emerge.My stepdad currently has a broken ankle. He broke it the other day on a hike. My mother has been so compassionate and caring to his every move, and I see the same love in her eyes as when they said their wedding vows.Now, obviously your situation is much different. I can't give you a definitive answer about this, but I wanted to share my experience and opinion with you so you can take it into consideration.:)
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I would try and talk to him about how you feel. Talking could go a far way.