This is related to my previous question in a way, along with the listlessness, the insomnia, lack of will and just tired behavior, I am getting these feelings that I used to get when I was younger.
I just feel like … not like dieing but like I want to go home go to bed and never leave. Just stay there forever, just sleep and never get up. Its weird but sitting at my desk after the talk with my boss about a raise I actually thought I’d rather just quit, go home and sleep forever rather than try and work harder or keep up with my current workflow. Like it should be validating but it just feels troublesome.
Are these thoughts the kinds that I should worry about?
That sounds like something worth seeing a doctor for. It's not easy! Some of it might be situational. But that kind of apathy builds and tends to get worse. Because I don't know you or what you have tried, I have some blanket recommendations. You know what you have and haven't done. I don't want to make you feel more frustrated by suggesting things you know don't work!
Try diphenhydramine (Unisom, Benadryl) or melatonin for sleep. They may help, they may not. But they're pretty cheap ($5-10), prolific, and nonaddictive. (I used to work in a pharmacy. If you have any questions about these, just talk to a pharmacist at the store.)
Your earlier post said you were really stressed about taking care of your mom. I dropped out of school briefly to take care of my mother. How dedicated you are to her care is a very personal decision--but you're not obligated to. I would talk to your family or professional services to see if anyone else can step in.
My final advice is to see a psychiatrist and therapist. Being between a rock and a hard place can make you feel that way. Just make sure that you feel safe. You may find meds take the edge of while you're in this position. And talking to someone who can professionally help is never a bad idea.
Feel free to message me if you want to talk. I know I can't "cure" what's going on, but I would be happy to listen.
