Scared of school (Sort of a vent)


9th Grade was fucking hell. Last year me and my ex best friend split up and since then I was lonely because he had been my only friend in my class, my whole life. I’ve known my classmates since 2nd grade.. So, last year was hell like I said, I was lonely, I isolated myself, I was stressed and I get panic attacks when I’m around my ex friend. FUCKING. HELL. And now it’s gonna happen all over again, because me and my ex friend aren’t ever getting back together. I am friends with his good friend and she just implies that us becoming friends again will never happen. I just don’t know what to do.. I’m so stressed, nobody understands my pain because they all have friends, I have a whole squad of ex friends who hate me just because of my ex bff.. He’s like.. The boss? It’s like he’s spreading rumors or something, and I also have trust issues with his good friend, she’s nice to me but I’m scared she’s just using me to get info for my ex friend so he can know how miserable I am. I’m just so scared.. For school.. It’s gonna be the same all over again except with more tests.. And that adds to the stress.. I wanna be homeschooled but that’d be hard since we’re learning a language my mom dosen’t know and such. What should I do? I feel like everyone in my class hates me, everyone says it’s bullshit but I think they hate me. There’s no way for me to make friends, I’ve known the same people for 8 years, It’d be ridiculous to try make friends with my stupid classmates in 10th grade. I’m just feeling so sad that I won’t enjoy my last year, the class is planning to go on a field trip at graduation and I don’t even wanna join because I have no friends, I’m that girl everyone hates and I don’t wanna put up with another year of this hell :’( I know people have it worse and I’m sorry, this is probably nothing compared to other people’s struggles… It’s just hard that I used to be sorta loved and appriciated but then I lost my best friend.. :/

Category: asked August 2, 2015

1 Answer

The word friend is way deeper than classmates, you will learn about it with time. You can also make friends online, even if life in school is hell, in the end, school isn't made to make friends but to make money, and connections. It will all depend on what things you like, how you see life, and what do you really want. Do you want to be happy or be less stressed? (or both) Do you want those "friends" that betray you with any chance they get? What do you really want, ask yourself then think about a solution by yourself. If you find what you really want (which doesn't includes "friends") and you can't find a solution, then come back here and ask about it.