Scared of relationships and boys

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Okay so I’ve always been a very paranoid person.
I’ve never dated, never kissed, never touched a guy in a flirty way, never flirted, nothing.
Because I am scared.
I’m scared of relationships, scared of love, scared of commitment.
But the reason for that is:
Abusive Sadists.
They’re everywhere, in every corner, trying to manipulate you, threaten you, even I’ve been slightly emotionally abused by someone I once met online,
I’m just so scared, I want to find the perfect guy but I feel as if people really like to hurt me for some reason so I’m scared of relationships..
I’m scared of being raped, kidnapped.. :(
But I really want a relationship, when I grow up a little more of course.
But I’m just so scared, It’s so typical “my life” to get into an abusive relationship, I’m just so unlucky sometimes you know.
I’m sorry if I sound like a crybaby right now but I really want to get over this stupid fear.
I’m just scared that everybody wants to hurt me and I have major trust issues, especially after my ex best guy friend..Cringe.
I’m also so easy to manipulate..It’s not even funny, I’m so blind.
One of my biggest fears is the guy being perfect the first years but then after marriage he would start to be abusive..
And another fear is a guy getting me pregnant and disappearing.
Please help someone :s
I don’t want to end up being a lonely old virgin cat lady!
Or a depressed woman with fucked up kids and no money..Oh god :’(
I know I’m only 14 but..Yeah.
I got some deep stuff on my mind.

Category: asked February 13, 2015

2 Answers

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Things never are they way you think will be. It is quite natural, these thoughts. But you will never know until you take a chance, right? :) You don't have to get all involved in the relationship, small things start big things. So you can start small. Talk about little things, see if you are compatible. And usually you can find out if you are compatible with someone. If you aren't then no one is forcing you to be with someone, or to let it get that far. And if you do feel comfortable, take a step further. It's the little steps that matter. You'll do it. Because if you can overcome this fear, it'll all feel worth it. I'm 17, and I know how you feel. I know it's probably not what you want to hear, but love feels good. We just have to keep our mind open. You never know when prince charming comes along. (Even though half the time they're not charming, but whatever. I got my point across, I hope? :))
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Don't be afraid just careful. :) Nobody expects you to go to a guy and tell him your biggest dreams and fears. You just have to get to know other people. I hope, you'll feel it when it's the right one Love is awsome. It is frightening but it is also the warmest, deepest, best thing in the world.