They say not to have regrets lifes too short but everyone is going to have one at some point surely.. and tbh I already have several and my problem is I cant just forget things I hang onto things and cant get over it it takes me months or years if at all. Anyone got any ideas on how I can overcome these regrets and bad memories?
When i have times like this i remember a good phrase. "live for today and look forward to tomorrow. Live life to the fullest and everything will work out" though the main way to overcome is to make new ones. look forward to what will come. wahts past is past but its always good to look back on good times.
If it can help. If it's a shame boomerang for something you did, face the problem, repair what you can, plan to behave differently if it happens again, repeat yourself "it won't happen again", then move to think of puppies or whatever thing that makes you peaceful on that level (from "Adulting". by K.W. Brown). Otherwise, if it's bad ruminations, try changing the point of view in the past event, look at yourself like an external spectator, aiming for detachment. (From "Emotional first-aid" by Guy Winch)
I don't exactly have answers on how to overcome regrets and bad memories. I can share having similar issues in hopes that it's at least comforting to know others like you.Maybe something that can help is asking yourself why you regret things. Personally I think I have a bit of a sadistic relationship with my bad memories/regrets. I enjoy thinking about what I did wrong, in a way it's self harm that is soothing to me. I think I enjoy it because I like the feeling of angst. I repeat things in my head, going over what I could have done and asking my self why, getting hung up on the past. Obviously not mentally healthy, like another user said maybe look at what you could have done and promising your self to do in the next time a similar experience comes is a good advice.
I don't have an answer on how to fix having regrets and bad memories. I can share with you the reasons I do, in hopes that it is at least comforting to know others like you. Maybe asking yourself why you keep holding onto regrets and bad memories would be helpful. I play experiences I regret over and over in my head, go over what I could have done differently pointing out all the things that were my fault. I do it because I find feeling angst is soothing. Something about not having control over the things I did in the past. I know that nothing good will come by agonizing over something in the past but feeling bad about myself is a kind of self harm.