For some time now, I’ve been thinking that might have depression. I’ve never had it before. The idea of having depression scares me. I don’t want to have a mental illness. I used to think that I would never have depression. This first started 5 months ago, about a week after my 19th birthday. I feel down and lonely constantly. Some of the things I used to enjoy don’t give me pleasure anymore. I went out with my friends yesterday, and even though I had a lot of fun, I still felt terrible the entire time. The loneliness I feel comes from the fact that I’m not in a relationship. I’m single and have been my whole life, despite my best efforts. Everyday it looks less and less likely that I’ll ever find someone. I have to come to terms with the fact that no one wants to date me. I’ve lost my appetite. I used to eat a lot, but I’ve barely eaten anything today. My sleep pattern is completely messed up. I’ve been highly irritable and prone to emotional outbursts, which isn’t like me at all. I lack motivation to get things done. I take a lot longer to finish my usual household chores. I was supposed to apply for a driver’s license and find a job this summer but I haven’t got that done. I’m still awaiting my exam results to see if I got into university, but I’m certain I botched it. If my results aren’t good enough for university, it will be clear that I am a failure, and I’ll have wasted all the money my parents spent on my education.
Could I have depression?